IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should smoke be banned in pubic states.Giving your opinion

Vietnam is one of the most countries which has the highest number of people dying from smoking and
this
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 trend can increase.
This
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 can explain why,smoking can bring many bad effects on residents.In my opinion,puffing should be prohibited. On the one hand,smoking can make people get many diseases.
To begin
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 with, smokers can get
lung
Use synonyms
 corruption, breathlessness and dizziness and more another diseases they can get.To illustrate,my teacher has been smoking for 12 years,now he is getting
lung
Use synonyms
 cancer
at the end
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 of the period.
Besides
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,getting contamination,through smoking makes our family poorer.Each month,everyone has to pay 500 VND for buying smoke.And paid about 9 million VND a month to heal
lung
Use synonyms
 tumours.America in 2009 is a good point in that case.Per year, the Ministry of Health receives more than 200000 cases suffering from acute
lung
Use synonyms
 sickness
due to
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 energy.Those family members no longer be poor because of being paid money for medicines at the hospital.As a matter of ,fact smoking is the shortest way to death. Ont he second hand, the population in public can be biased against smoking.Women who are pregnant can make their babies have disabilities in their brains.
Moreover
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,young children and the elderly can easy to die early if they breathe the smoke from cigarettes.In fact, communities that smoke or are nonsmokers can get diseases.
Therefore
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, smoking should be banned in all public places.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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