The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram illustrates several steps of how the production of

sugar

Use synonyms

from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane is carried out in the factory.

It is clear that

Linking Words

there are 7 main stages in

this

Linking Words

process, starting with plants being grown in 17-18 months and ending with the resulting product as the natural sweetener. As can be seen, during the first stage,

sugar

Use synonyms

cane is cultivated in crops for more than a year and harvested by hand or using a cutting machine.

Next,

Linking Words

these plants are brought to a crushing engine in order to be crushed to get the juice, and the waste is thrown away. Once the liquid is collected, it undergoes a purifying process with the use of a limestone filter to remove all the left dirt before being heated so that the water is evaporated,

therefore

Linking Words

the juice becomes syrup.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, the syrup is taken to a centrifuge to separate

sugar

Use synonyms

crystals.

Finally

Linking Words

, those are dried and cooled to create fine products for various uses.

danphamngocha

Jul 17, 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar cane
harvesting
manufacturing process
cleaning
sanitation
quality control
crushing
extracted juice
boiling
concentrated syrup
crystallization
sugar crystals
separation
molasses
purity
quality
food processing

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Youth unemployment is increasing in many countries in the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.