The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

#process #sugar #cane

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The diagram illustrates several steps of how the production of

sugar

Use synonyms

from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane is carried out in the factory.

It is clear that

Linking Words

there are 7 main stages in

this

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process, starting with plants being grown in 17-18 months and ending with the resulting product as the natural sweetener. As can be seen, during the first stage,

sugar

Use synonyms

cane is cultivated in crops for more than a year and harvested by hand or using a cutting machine.

Next,

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these plants are brought to a crushing engine in order to be crushed to get the juice, and the waste is thrown away. Once the liquid is collected, it undergoes a purifying process with the use of a limestone filter to remove all the left dirt before being heated so that the water is evaporated,

therefore

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the juice becomes syrup.

Subsequently

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, the syrup is taken to a centrifuge to separate

sugar

Use synonyms

crystals.

Finally

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, those are dried and cooled to create fine products for various uses.

Submitted by danphamngocha on Mon Jul 17 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

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Nowadays, more and more jobs and tasks are done by machines which involve hard physical work. Do the positive effects of this trend outweigh the negative effects?

Do the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages