In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
In contemporary times, it is a widely held belief that
clothes
that come from western are more prominent among individuals than traditional ones. This
essay will articulate some chiefly driving factors behind this
phenomenon as well as
agree that the disadvantages eclipse its positive.
First and foremost, there are some undeniable advantages of Western fashion. The first point can discuss is the comfort provided by shirts and jeans. It is quite suitable for those living in a hot place or having to do plenty of physical activities, compared to cultural clothes
, which consist of a wide range of pieces and are so far inconvenient for the aforementioned people
. Besides
, the economic aspects of this
type of clothes
should be appreciated. For example
, to purchase a set of Ao dai – a traditional cloth of Vietnam, inhabitants have to pay a huge sum because of the intricate process of making such
outfits. It obviously contrasts with modern styles, which are so affordable because of being manufactured in large numbers so that people
can easily own new ones.
Whilst the trajectory above may have certain merits, from my perspective, the drawbacks outweigh its advantages. A mainly negative side is that this
tendency could contribute to a dilute problem of cultural identity, which plays a crucial role in distinguishing various countries. If many people
are swift to wear comfortable clothes
and hesitate to try local customs on, the identification of that region can be blurred due to
no more children being aware of their cultures and particular ethnicities. The lack of connection between teenagers and culture results in a sharp rise in the neglected feelings of regional heritage's profound significance, which is really detrimental for individuals and society as a whole.
In conclusion, taking everything into account, it can be seen that several reasons lead to the increasing number of people
choosing the style of the western part of the globe. However
, I strongly believe that there are significant challenges to this
trend, such
as causing a deficiency in traditional identity among younger generations.Submitted by weezel on
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task achievement
You provided a complete response to the question prompting you to discuss both the reasons and the influence of western-style fashion on people. You successfully gave personal opinions and extended the main points with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a strong logical structure, each idea comes consequentially and supports one another. However, try to use more cohesive devices like conjunctions and punctuation correctly to link your sentences in a logical manner.
lexical resource
You have a strong lexical resource with a wide range of vocabulary used in the appropriate context. But remember to spell check and not switch between American and British English.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is good with various types of complex sentences, but pay more attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of pronouns.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.