Some people think that success of life is based on hard work and determination.Others, however, believe that there are more important factors such as having money or good appearance.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Currently, netizens are discussing which is more important for individuals'
success
, determination and effort, or external advantages Use synonyms
such
as a handsome Linking Words
appearance
. In my view, external advantages do play a role in one's achievement, Use synonyms
nevertheless
, what is decisive is Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
efforts
and persistence.
Use synonyms
Although
I emphasise the significance of endeavours, I have no aversion to conceding that external Linking Words
factors
are worth consideration too. Use synonyms
According to
research conducted by Havard University, in the US, females who have blonde hair and blue eyes which are usually viewed as the characteristics of beauty, find it easier to find a position among managers. The original intention of the research is definitely to promote gender equality in the labour market, Linking Words
while
it incidentally discloses the reality that external Linking Words
factors
like Use synonyms
appearance
do function in Use synonyms
people
's achievement. Use synonyms
In other words
, Linking Words
people
obtain Use synonyms
success
to some extent by being blessed by chances.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
does not mean individuals have no choice but to surrender to an elusive destiny. Linking Words
On the contrary
, it is precisely because we have clearly recognised the role played by external Linking Words
factors
that we profoundly realise the meaning of Use synonyms
efforts
when persons without outstanding Use synonyms
appearance
, like Elon Musk, achieve remarkable Use synonyms
success
. It is irrefutable that Musk is a common person in terms of Use synonyms
appearance
, but Use synonyms
this
does not hinder him from establishing Tesla, and SpaceX. In the process of setting up these companies, as Musk said in an interview, what is most decisive is a heart that never succumbs and persistent Linking Words
efforts
. In light of Use synonyms
this
, Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
efforts
significantly outweigh those Use synonyms
factors
which are out of control in one's Use synonyms
success
.
In summary, Use synonyms
although
having money or a good Linking Words
appearance
is conducive to obtaining Use synonyms
success
, the key element in Use synonyms
that is
still one's own Linking Words
efforts
and determination. Use synonyms
Therefore
, we ought to pay more attention to what we can create other than what we lack compared to others.Linking Words
Submitted by hx88375757 on
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language
Ensure consistency in word choice and avoid repetitive phrases to enhance clarity.
coherence
Try to weave in a wider variety of linking words and expressions to further improve fluency.
task response
While your examples are strong, consider providing a bit more detail or a secondary example for each point to fully explore both sides of the argument.
task response
Your essay clearly outlines both views on the topic and effectively presents your own opinion in the conclusion.
coherence
The logical flow of ideas is commendable, backed by relevant examples like the study from Harvard University and Elon Musk's success story.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize the key points of your argument.