Many people today are worried about ‘cybercrime’ such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does ‘cybercrime’ cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take?

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Nowadays, cybercrime is a cause of widespread concern, as so many people use technology to store and transmit sensitive data. There are a number of problems that people suffer
as a result
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of these crimes, but
also
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some straightforward measures we can take to protect ourselves. Perhaps the worst problem stemming from
this
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is the financial impact. If someone has his or her bank account emptied, or has false credit lines created under their name, they are potentially liable for large sums of money. Even if they can avoid the consequences, their bank or finance company has to cover the losses, which can damage their performance. A
further
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problem is the way in which these stolen funds are used to subsidize other crimes,
such
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as drug distribution or even terrorism. Once the money enters the criminal networks, we have no way of knowing how it will be used.
Finally
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, there is the problem of anxiety and stress caused to the innocent victims of these crimes. The initial shock is often followed by months or years of legal wrangling, paperwork and a sense of insecurity. Turning to possible solutions, probably the most effective measure is to improve personal security, ranging from passwords to the shredding of documents.
This
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denies the criminals the raw materials to work with.
Secondly
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, we should raise awareness of the risks among the elderly or the very young – two groups who are often specifically targeted – via publicity and public education. Ultimately,
however
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, it is the financial companies who can make the greatest contribution, by increasing their security and detection systems – ideally in partnership with the police. In conclusion, the problems caused are both financial and social, and the solutions should involve coordinated action by individuals, corporations and the state.

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task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention known cases of cybercrime and their repercussions to provide more depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a cohesive flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context and purpose of the essay, introducing the central theme of cybercrime and its implications.
coherence cohesion
You have maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, beginning with problems and moving to solutions, with appropriate paragraphs for each.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented regarding both the problems posed by cybercrime and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an effective conclusion that summarizes the main points and confirms the need for action by all parties involved.
task achievement
The essay covers the task requirements comprehensively, addressing both problems and solutions in a balanced manner.

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