IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that studying in other countries bring several benefits. Others think that it has some drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #countries
While
 some are of the opinion that studying abroad brings about a number of advantages to
students
, others claim that studying in other countries has some disadvantages. In my opinion, I consider that when pupils choose to continue their higher
education
 in other nations, they will discover new cultures and get the best 
education
. On the one hand,
according to
 some, studying abroad will bring about a number of positive impacts, and I agree.
In other words
, when
students
 can not find a good university in their country, they will go to another place to get the best
education
. If they graduate from the best university, they will get the best job in the future.
As a result
, they will have a bright future.
Moreover
, some
people
 think that when
students
 study overseas, they will learn more things from the
people
 who live in that country.
For example
, when
students
 from the Middle East go to the USA to pursue their tertiary
education
, they will meet the locals there and know about their lifestyle and food choices.
This
 will benefit them, especially when they deal with Americans once they return to their homeland. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand, some
people
 believe that studying abroad will bring more disadvantages. One reason is that terrible friends .
This
 is because when they go to the mall or anywhere they will make new friends and they don’t know who
is
Correct pronoun usage
their is
show examples
 that a friend might that friend will give them
drugs
also
 will tell them that
drugs
, will help
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to study and to focus on
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 lesson. Another reason is that if they are not patient to study they will think to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drugs
 to focus on their lessons
for instance
, when the professor of that university gave them homework or
exam
Correct article usage
an exam
show examples
 and if they couldn’t pass their exams they would start to think to use the
drugs
 because that friend told them
drugs
 can help you.
However
 in
this
 case every country has to tell their citizens to be so
carefully
Change the word
careful
show examples
 when they go abroad. In conclusion,
while
people
 may vary in their opinions, I think that studying abroad will be the best way for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
 to ensure that every student can maximize their learning.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: