It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer.

#aspiration #people #business #work #employer

These days, it is a common aim of many people leaving university to try to start up their own

company

. They believe that running a

business

has many advantages over working for someone else,

such

as the freedom to make your own

decisions

. I agree with

this

point of view, but it is important to bear in mind that running a

business

does not suit everybody. There are several benefits of setting up your own

business

. For me, the main one is that you have room to be creative.

Instead

of having to follow your employer's

decisions

, you can set the goals for the

business

yourseelf

Correct your spelling

yourself

, which means that you feel more in control.

This

generally

result

Change the verb form

results

show examples

in people feeling happier in their job. Not only that, you can

also

keep the profits if the

company

is successful. If all goes well, you will earn far more than if you work for someone else.

For instance

, if you set up your own

graphic-design

Correct your spelling

graphic design

show examples

company

, and you build a good reputation, you will be able to make substantial profits. You will

therefore

be more motivated to work hard, in order to make a success of your

company

. Having said that, it is undeniable that running a

business

is risky. If there is an economic downturn, or you make mistakes in your

business

decisions

, your

company

can go bust, which can mean that you lose everything and you have to lay off your staff.

Moreover

, it is very hard to switch off at weekends, because the

business

is always in the back of your mind.

To sum up

although

there is no doubt there are some risks associated with running your own

business

, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, particularly with regard to making

decisions

However

, it should be said that not everyone is a risk-taker, and some prefer to work for someone else.

Submitted by writingbersama on Thu Jun 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is very well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, a bit more variety in sentence structures might make your arguments more compelling.

task achievement

Your main points are well-supported, but consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your arguments even more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Strong logical structure with clear paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Both introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

task achievement

Main points are supported with relevant details and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aspiration
entrepreneur
flexibility
decision-making
financial rewards
personal fulfillment
challenges
financial risk
invested capital
cash flow
guaranteed income
work-life balance
responsibility
pressure
burnout

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It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a healthy and long life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this hapenning? Do you think this is an approriate use of government money?

You live on the fourth floor of a five-storey building which is not equipped with an elevator (lift). Write a letter to your neighbors and in your letter • introduce yourself • say what the problem is • ask the neighbors to agree on the installation of an elevator.‌‌

Many people find it difficult to give speech or presentation in public. Some people suggest that schools should teach children to speak in public. How is it important to speak in public? Do youagree or disagree that school should teach at school.