IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think the increasing and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #contact #countries #effects #loss #identities
In the salad days of the millennium,
this
 society is polarized into two groups almost equally regarding the notion of whether the exchange between different
countries
 is beneficial or not .
People
 have different mindsets. The subsequent paragraphs would shed light on both approaches before making the final note. On the one hand, there are a multitude of reasons why individuals think that business and cultural trade is advantageous. The most significant reason is that
this
 helps in exchanging the things that are not available in one
country
. The tea leaves
for example
 are not grown in England so they obtain these from India. In
this
 way, other
countries
 are enjoying things that their
country
’s climate does not favour.
Besides
this
, cultural contact plays an indispensable role in increasing the
country
’s economy. To clarify, some
countries
 offer different
countries
 to visit them during the different festivals or events organized by them which result in
people
 travelling in and out of the
country
 and increasing its economy as when
people
 travel they spend a lot on their stay and food.
On the other hand
, I favour those who opine that
this
 is destructive as it destroys the nation’s identities. The first and foremost reason is that when
people
 exchange happens
people
 tend to travel to other
countries
, where they get influenced by the culture of that
country
. So, to adapt themselves to those
people
 they try to change their way of living
according to
 that
country
.
Due to
this
, they lose their culture and identity.
For instance
, almost 60% of India’s population has travelled to Canada and has been living
according to
 Canadian culture and forgetting their roots.
To conclude
,
although
 the points in favour of the former view are substantial, I still opine that because of
this
 contact between the
countries
, they are losing their identities as a whole.
Submitted by jaspreet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: