IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this notion.

#people #music #cultures #ages #notion
Many individuals claim that
music
 is one of the effective methods to connect various cultures and age groups.
While
this
 statement is right in some contexts, I personally think there are better measurements for humans to socialize with others. On the one hand, musical practices may provide a useful tool to entertain and bring
people
 closer together, especially on important occasions. When used effectively,
music
 plays a major part in setting the mood for celebrations. To be more specific, background tune is essential in some cases, acting as a non-verbal signal for
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
show examples
 to respond
accordingly
 to the host's intentions. One of the examples that can be mentioned is the usage of introductory background melody in grand-opening events. The loud, fast-paced and upbeat sounds perform great as means to attract
people
's attention when the host wants to make a big announcement.
On the other hand
, even though
music
 is utilizable in some specific situations, cultural differences are the main reason why
music
 can not be used as the only tool to connect
people
, internationally.
In addition
, the generation gap
also
 creates some difficulties for
people
 of various ages to enjoy and share the same
music
 taste. Since
music
 has a long history of constant-changing, in a particular time period, there is a different
music
 trend. Given the acknowledgement, it would be hard to connect
people
 using
music
 only,
therefore
, different approaches need to be taken into consideration like discussing hobbies, movies or other social interests. In conclusion, using suitable sounds, songs or types of
music
 in crucial events is quite common and effective,
however
,
music
 is not as effective when used to form strong connections of all cultures and ages. When it comes to human interactions, a bigger picture should be considered and seen from various aspects.
Submitted by nhuhieu0276 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: