Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

As time goes by, online shopping is gaining popularity gradually. Nowadays, it is really difficult to find someone who does not use online shopping. Surely, online shopping has changed our way of living easily.

However

, there is still growing debate over whether online shopping is positive or negative. In

this

modern world, online shopping has big advantages. Because of convenience and simplicity. The quality of human life has increased significantly by online shopping,

such

as Amazon.

In particular

, in our generation, most younger

people

are getting used to online shopping more deeply than in the

last

decade.

According to

a survey, the number of online shopping users increased exponentially between 2010 and 2022.

Above all

people

can save a lot of energy and time by using online shopping.

On the other hand

, there are two disadvantages to online shopping as well.

Firstly

, offline shopping mall position is getting weaker in society. Because there is no need to go out to purchase. But before online shopping came out,

people

could talk to each other in person by selling and buying. And that made

people

communities.

Secondly

due to

online

shopping

Add a comma

shopping,

show examples

many jobs have been disappearing more and more and unemployment rates are increasing at the same time. Because E-commerce companies provide

people

with many options for convenience. Customers always want to be provided convenient experience. It seems those

people

who lost their offline jobs should accept

this

phenomenon to survive. Because

this

big trend wave cannot be stopped. Maybe

this

tendency can be controversial for some

people

. In summary, for the reasons mentioned above, the public still arguing that

this

change is going to be truly meaningful and helpful for individuals and associations.

Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on Fri Jul 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

To enhance task response, incorporate more specific examples and data to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific environmental impacts or citing statistics about job losses can strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your ideas are generally well-organized, inserting linking phrases between sections can improve coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Improve cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases rather than repeating similar structures. This will help maintain the reader's interest and enhance the flow of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.

introduction and conclusion

Your introduction effectively sets up the debate and your conclusion neatly summarizes your points.

task achievement

You have a balanced discussion of both positives and negatives of online shopping, addressing different perspectives on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Increasing the petrol price is the best way to reducing traffic and pollution problems. agree and disagree.
Nowadays, traffic and pollution are common issues that people face. One of the solutions to cope with this issue is to increase the petrol price by the government. This will be the best strategy to restrict the use of petrol and could decrease traffic and pollution. I, personally, agree with the strategy for some reasons.
5.5
band
In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
Nowadays, children spend more time with their friends than with their families. This change has occurred because children do not want to feel left out amongst their peers and parents should not force children to stay home because they will resent their parents for it.
7
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Wealthy countries tend to grant money to less-developed countries in order to solve poverty, however, the outcome is unsatisfactory. Thereby, this prompt suggests that other kinds of help should be given to address this issue. I personally agree with the statements and this essay will elucidate more arguments to back this prompt.
4.5
band
Some people believe that spending money and living for today makes more sense than saving for the future. Do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today’s era, it is an individual preference for living the life at fullest by spending a lot on lifestyle, travelling and other things which makes the present moment happier for people instead of saving the money for better life in the future. I would partially agree to spend lot of money for living the good life today but also consideration individual financial situation or any requirement may arise in the future such as a medical emergency, unemployment and many other reasons which may create the difficult situation to survive it in the future.
7
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are several diseases occurred due to high-sugar food and beverages sold all over the world. Therefore, some individuals suggest increasing the price of such products in order to make people switch their preference to less sugar versions. Regarding that opinion, I firmly believe that it is going to be an effective way to tackle health problems if the governments choose to make sugary products more expensive.

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Increasing the petrol price is the best way to reducing traffic and pollution problems. agree and disagree.

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that spending money and living for today makes more sense than saving for the future. Do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?