IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. To what extent do you agree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern times, the issue of
crime
Use synonyms
 has become a matter of discussion. There are those who say that most countries deal with
crime
Use synonyms
 by sending people to
prison
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that providing individuals with higher
education
Use synonyms
 is a more effective solution. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for reasons I will outline below. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, there are two main reasons why I believe that
prison
Use synonyms
 is a necessary place for social security.
This
Linking Words
 is because detaining people who engage in criminal activities, especially serious crimes
such
Linking Words
 as robbery, murder and rape
to ensure
Change the verb form
ensures
show examples
 the safety of other citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words
, imposing
tricter
Correct your spelling
strict
 punishments on these which prevent them from
commit
Change the verb form
committing
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, knowing that being arrested means that they will lose their freedom and live a
life
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
, which makes them not dare to do wrong. If there weren’t a
prison
Use synonyms
, offenders would create a violent culture and pose a serious threat to society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 is a measure to reduce
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate. When authorities provide
education
Use synonyms
, citizens would have enough knowledge about the damage that
crime
Use synonyms
 will cause to the community and themselves
as well as
Linking Words
 leaving serious injuries to their loved ones
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in high
crime
Use synonyms
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, possessing some qualifications through basic
education
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as vocational training contributes to stabilizing their social
life
Use synonyms
, thereby reducing the thought of doing illegal acts. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
 is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides of the argument. Having considered both sides of the issue, I would argue that imprisonment
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a vital role to balance social
life
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 is the best way to improve the rate of
crime
Use synonyms
. If the authorities implement
this
Linking Words
 policy, it will provide a better
life
Use synonyms
 for future generations.
Submitted by lam.tophung on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
Look at other essays: