In today's world many people own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Digital
devices
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have made everyday living very easy as they provide various functions to connect with the world.
Therefore
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,
individuals
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prefer to buy modern
devices
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;
however
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, they have both benefits and limitations. I strongly believe that the advantages of advanced technology outweigh the drawbacks because they allow communities to stay connected even across countries, and new updates have made very
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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convenient.
Although
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there are limitations to advanced gadgets, one major concern is that
individuals
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have started overusing
this
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technology. Many
individuals
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spend their free hours watching online videos or playing games
instead
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of engaging in physical activities, which are necessary for improving
overall
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well-being.
For instance
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,
younger
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the younger
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population often spends hours scrolling
short
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through short
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videos, which reduces their motivation to exercise and affects their health. To address
this
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issue,
individuals
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should be encouraged to use advanced gadgets responsibly rather than wasting their precious time.
On the other hand
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, modern updates of
this
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technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
have changed
individuals
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' lives significantly by strengthening relationships. These
devices
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enable users to make video calls with their loved ones, which not only reduces loneliness but
also
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strengthens family bonds, promoting a sense of belonging and satisfaction.
For example
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, without digital
devices
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, many would feel disconnected from the world, leading to increased stress and weaker relationships.
Therefore
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,
individuals
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prefer to purchase new
devices
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so that they feel attached to both their families and the wider community.
In addition
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, advanced gadgets are highly beneficial in
professional
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a professional
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lifestyle as they provide new ways to join meetings online.
This
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is
also
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very convenient internationally because leaders or professionals can plan and communicate instantly through modern
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
.
As a result
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, a great deal of time and money on travelling is saved, which can be invested in other important purposes.
Although
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modern
devices
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have some disadvantages, these can be managed through responsible use. Their advantages,
such
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as saving time, improving communication, and maintaining relationships, cannot be overlooked. Many users have found them easy to use, and they continue to make life more efficient in today’s busy world.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro, then 2 or 3 body parts, and a clear end.
content
Give one strong point for each idea, with simple facts or short examples.
grammar
Check small errors in words and spelling, like 'technology' and 'worldwide'.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas go together.
content
You take a clear view and keep it through the essay.
structure
You show how devices help people stay close with family and work.
coherence
There are some good examples to back up a point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphone
  • talk
  • message
  • information
  • map
  • app
  • bank
  • safety
  • time
  • distraction
  • sleep
  • privacy
  • security
  • screen time
  • balance
  • limit
  • habit
  • learning
  • work
  • health
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