Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Rising childhood

obesity

Use synonyms

rates highlight the issue of responsibility.

While

Linking Words

some argue that the

government

Use synonyms

should address the issue, others argue that it is up to families to

instill

Change the spelling

instil

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good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in their

children

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This

Linking Words

essay discusses both points of view and argues that childhood

obesity

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is an issue that needs immediate attention from both the

government

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and parents. On the one hand,

government

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regulations should limit the advertising of sugar and carbohydrate products to young consumers.

This

Linking Words

would reduce the likelihood that young people will demand and insist on consuming sweets endlessly, without limits or balance.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, increasing the number of required physical education classes in schools,

for example

Linking Words

, could help minors stay in good shape.

However

Linking Words

, the reach of

government

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action is quite indirect and requires particular execution.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, parents have the most powerful and direct influence on their

children

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when it comes to the most important parts of life,

such

Linking Words

as food and health. If all adults were to adopt a healthy lifestyle

centered

Change the spelling

centred

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on regular outdoor activities, it would create a culture in which

children

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would enjoy and appreciate

this

Linking Words

type of approach and duplicate the same model as they grow older.

Moreover

Linking Words

, caregivers decide what to buy and what to leave out, so they have an immediate impact on their

children

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's diets. In conclusion,

while

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some people blame

government

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factors for the rise in

obesity

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- and they have the right to do so - I believe that the root cause of childhood

obesity

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is the place where everything is essentially decided, which is the caregiver, parent or family.

frensSun Jul 23 2023

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

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nation apply tax for high population do you agree OR disagree