IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Companies should provide sports facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #facilities #communities
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As the expanse of advancement overhauls every sphere of life, the dynamics of
organisations
Use synonyms
 have altered too. A section of the community believes that
sports
Use synonyms
 corporations should give their goods to native society. I strongly concur with
this
Linking Words
 aforementioned statement, let us unfurl both views in detail in forthcoming paragraphs. Basically, there are a plethora of factors that are evident that providing equipment and amenities to local community help companies. First and foremost, getting feedback from users is easy if they are inhabitants. To clarify, when companies start to sell their
products
Use synonyms
 on the international level
then
Linking Words
 it is hard to evaluate the quality of their
products
Use synonyms
 ,
however
Linking Words
 when the
player's
Change the noun form
players
player
show examples
 are from their own neighbourhood getting feedback on the provided resources is efficient and accurate.
Besides
Linking Words
, if the product is significant and of better quality the sales shall increase on all platforms. To exemplify, a survey conducted by the United States Census Bureau in 2008 in California over a group of 2000
sports
Use synonyms
 persons revealed that they prefer to buy equipment from
a local
Correct the article-noun agreement
local organisations
a local organisation
show examples
organisations
Use synonyms
 as they trust
products
Use synonyms
 and class the organisation after use of their free trials.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, some people think even for evaluation and advertisement of goods
organisations
Use synonyms
 should not give their
products
Use synonyms
 to the native community as it is the responsibility of the government bodies. To dig deeper, even though for free advertisement corporations are providing goods and facilities to local
sports
Use synonyms
 personnel, it is the responsibility of the government to provide all the required items to players so that they can win the games and gain fame for themselves and their nation. To illustrate, Mr Benjamin Bradley, editor of The Washington Post in his editorial clearly stated that when
organisations
Use synonyms
 start distributing equipment and facilities to participants, governments start to imagine that it is not their job to provide all those things and depends on those
organisations
Use synonyms
 and neglect the needs and requirements of personals.
To conclude
Linking Words
 it can be said that,
although
Linking Words
 companies are meeting the needs of
sports
Use synonyms
 participants, government should assess and fulfil the needed facilities as well.
Submitted by smanureet on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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