Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

#people #lives #cities #government #life

In our

life

Add a comma

,life

show examples

more and more

people

choose

cities

to live in

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because there are a

lot

of different opportunities to do a graduation degree, earn money, have a beautiful

life

and travel a

lot

. I suppose that our

life

in big

cities

is always connected with a high level of

stress

, depression, anxiety etc. So why is it

happened

Wrong verb form

happening

show examples

Firstly

, working at big companies

people

have a

lot

of responsibilities, they should be always

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

highly competitive employee

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because there are a

lot

another candidates

Replace the adjective

another candidate

other candidates

show examples

, who wants to get

this

position.

In other words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

stress

from work has a crucial influence

Change preposition

show examples

our mental health.

Secondly

, a large number of

cities

have a considerable level of different noises, including cars, music and other loud sounds in

cities

Conseqently

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, a permanent noise is able to result in problems with

psychological

Add an article

a psychological

show examples

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

Thus

, it is getting hard to enjoy our

life

in these places. So, what should

Correct article usage

the do

show examples

government to reduce these issues? At

first,

I believe that creating more parks,

places

Correct word choice

and places

show examples

with

relaxing

Add an article

the relaxing

a relaxing

show examples

atmosphere

Fix the agreement mistake

atmospheres

show examples

is essential for

people

's mental health, because

people

have an opportunity to be calm,

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

nature sounds and relax.

However

an employees

Correct the article-noun agreement

employees

an employee

show examples

should have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free time to visit these places, so comfortable working conditions are essential for every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

In other words

, if a person has

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leisure time to relax and distress from work, he has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

less

stress

in his

life

To conclude

, I want to say that sometimes living in a big city is harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

your mental health

due to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

stress

However

, having a smart approach

for

Change preposition

show examples

reducing

this

factor could result in

Correct article usage

the plesure

show examples

plesure

Correct your spelling

pleasure

of your

life

in a city.

Submitted by aleskovamaria02 on Thu Jul 27 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Urbanization
Metropolitan
Overpopulation
Commuting
Infrastructure
Cost of living
Pollution
Green spaces
Public services
Mental health
Work-life balance
Quality of life
Social cohesion
Crime prevention
Sustainability
Urban planning
Recreational areas
Public transportation

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