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Band 6

Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

#people #lives #cities #government #life
In our
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 more and more
people
 choose
cities
 to live in
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because there are a
lot
 of different opportunities to do a graduation degree, earn money, have a beautiful
life
 and travel a
lot
. I suppose that our
life
 in big
cities
 is always connected with a high level of
stress
, depression, anxiety etc. So why is it
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
?
Firstly
, working at big companies
people
 have a
lot
 of responsibilities, they should be always
a
Correct article usage
apply
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highly competitive employee
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because there are a
lot
 of
another candidates
Replace the adjective
another candidate
other candidates
show examples
, who wants to get
this
 position.
In other words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress
 from work has a crucial influence
in
Change preposition
on
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 our mental health.
Secondly
, a large number of
cities
 have a considerable level of different noises, including cars, music and other loud sounds in
cities
.
Conseqently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, a permanent noise is able to result in problems with
psychological
Add an article
a psychological
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
Thus
, it is getting hard to enjoy our
life
 in these places. So, what should
do
Correct article usage
the do
show examples
 government to reduce these issues? At
first,
I believe that creating more parks,
places
Correct word choice
and places
show examples
 with
relaxing
Add an article
the relaxing
a relaxing
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atmosphere
Fix the agreement mistake
atmospheres
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 is essential for
people
's mental health, because
people
 have an opportunity to be calm,
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 nature sounds and relax.
However
,
an employees
Correct the article-noun agreement
employees
an employee
show examples
 should have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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free time to visit these places, so comfortable working conditions are essential for every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
.
In other words
, if a person has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure time to relax and distress from work, he has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
less
stress
 in his
life
.
To conclude
, I want to say that sometimes living in a big city is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 your mental health
due to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress
.
However
, having a smart approach
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reducing
this
 factor could result in
Correct article usage
the plesure
show examples
plesure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
 of your
life
 in a city.
Submitted by aleskovamaria02 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolitan
  • Overpopulation
  • Commuting
  • Infrastructure
  • Cost of living
  • Pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Public services
  • Mental health
  • Work-life balance
  • Quality of life
  • Social cohesion
  • Crime prevention
  • Sustainability
  • Urban planning
  • Recreational areas
  • Public transportation
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