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Band 7

The table below give information about Favourite Pastimes in different countries.

The table below give information about Favourite Pastimes in different countries.
#information #favourite #pastimes #countries
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The given table contains information about Favourite Pastimes in different countries. The table is described below. There are 7 Countries and 7 activities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are 7 activity people do in their free time. In TV, in
Canada
Use synonyms
 and in, the USA there are 60, In Sydney it's 65, in ,
Korea
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 it is 22 and in ,
China
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 it is 15. In sports highest is Sydney with 30 and the lowest is
Korea
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 with 21, in
Canada
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 it is 22,
then
Linking Words
 the US with 23, and
China
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 with 25. In reading
Korea
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 and
China
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 are 60 and France and England are 30,
then
Linking Words
Canada
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 and Sydney are 15 and US, and Japan is 62. In hobbies
China
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 is 50 after that Australia and
Korea
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 are equal to 45,
then
Linking Words
 the USA is 42, after that
Canada
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 is 40, England is 21 and Paris is 20. In music the US is 23,
then
Linking Words
 Australia is 5,
then
Linking Words
 Paris and England are equal to 4,
Canada
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 is 3 and
Korea
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 is 2. On Beach Goldcoast and the USA are equal is 30,
Korea
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 is 2 and
China
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 is 5. In sleep Paris is 20,
China
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 is 5, Australia and
Korea
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 is 4, and
Canada
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 and US are 2. In conclusion, in the table are 7 countries and 7 activities. And age group is from 30-50.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, korea, china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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