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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a paricular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a paricular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017
#tourists #paricular #caribbean #island
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The line chart provides the figure of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who travelled to a specific
Caribbran
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
 island from the year 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that there was a gradual increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourisits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 who stayed on cruise ships over the years.
Morerover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the
overseas
Correct quantifier usage
number of overseas
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 people
number
Use synonyms
 grew significantly in 2017.
According to
Linking Words
 the line graph, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2010 was less than
Use synonyms
million
Correct article usage
a million
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while
Linking Words
 four years later it raised to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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tourists. There was a dramatic increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of travellers in 2017 which was 2
million
Use synonyms
 people.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010 the figure of tourists who
reside
Wrong verb form
resided
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the island was higher than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 stayed on the ship which was 500,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travellers. The
number
Use synonyms
 started to grow in 2012 which was more than
one
Use synonyms
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the total
number
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 of tourists in 2010 was
one
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million
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 and it started to slightly increase around
one
Use synonyms
 hundred in the following year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2017, the
number
Use synonyms
 increased to reach 3.5
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by almousa1994 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, number, million, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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