Task 2 Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Currently, there is a downward trend of professional doctor visitors
due to
a huge number of people who struggling with their health and moving to adopt alternative medicines and treatments. Personally, I believe that it seems like a positive way to utilize the abundance of traditional medicines which have been used for a very long generation, but
also
contributes a negative impact, where modern healings being untrusted among the society. On the one hand, traditional ways to fix some health issues have been used for hundreds,
such
as in ancient Chinese or ancient Egypt and Roman.
Furthermore
, in the era, there was a large variety of herbal plants,which were known as a particular medication for any certain heath crysis. By using and utilising herbal concoctions, we could preserve the ancestor's legacy, but not only
this
, the most importantly is because some herbal and traditional tonics will contribute fewer side effects because contain lower chemical or synthetic materials.
on the other hand
, modern medications seem more effective than others, combined with recommendations from experts.
Moreover
, nowadays, there is a high case of new diseases which appear
due to
an unhealthy lifestyle and many scientists have spent lots of time addressing
this
issue through modern equipment and knowledge.
Additionally
, traditional medications have been not proven could fix any particular disease
such
as cancer and have just been taught through generations.
instead
, getting healed, it could appear as another problem if used with the wrong material or process.
To conclude
, it seems to me that both traditional and modern treatments provided by experts are beneficial to human existence.
In addition
, traditional ways are considered to fix a health crisis which has been known for a very long present, but for any certain serious diseases which appear in
this
modern era, a modern approach would be more effective, proven by experiments evidenced by professional experts and scientists.
Submitted by mukarramailham on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay clearly addresses the topic, some ideas could be more elaborated, especially with specific details or examples. Try to develop each point more fully to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs better transitions between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before it.
other
There are some grammatical and syntactical errors that hinder readability. Pay attention to sentence structures and verb tenses to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of alternative medicines and treatments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: