Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#universities #students

The current educational systems throughout the world persist

to improve

Change preposition

in improving

show examples

the quality of education for all. There is an opinion that

expresses

Verb problem

apply

show examples

universities should accept an equal proportion of educators of each

gender

in every course. I,

however

, disagree with

this

view

due to

bringing an unfair situation and nurturing incompetent persons. Generally, men are more inclined toward technical subjects

such

as electronics and civil engineering.

While

Females

have a great tendency to be professional in delicate subjects

such

as fashion design or nursing which is more suitable owing to their sympathetic and maternal instinct.

Thus

, if universities accept the same number of applicants for both

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

, it would be unfair to men or

females

who are more skilful to achieve

this

position.

In addition

, Universities should continue to select the best candidates

according to

their qualifications.

For example

, assume that more than 80 per cent of women tend to choose fashion as their career. If authorities eliminate 30 per cent of

females

and

fulfil

Verb problem

fill

show examples

with men who have a low tendency compared with the opposing

gender

, it is actually wrong

for ignoring

Change preposition

to ignore

show examples

women students with higher talent.

On the other hand

, some subjects require

particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

gender

. A good illustration of

this

is the engineering sector with a high demand for body strength it would never be a suitable position for

females

similarly

, in the nursing field, girls are more appropriate because of their nature of being more concerned. In conclusion, it would be a wrong decision to register a candidate with the same percentage which brings negative consequences.

Submitted by Poseidous on Sat Jul 29 2023

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Task Response

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the given topic and presents your opinion effectively. However, there are some points that could be strengthened.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay shows a logical structure and coherent progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, and the main points are supported. Be careful with the use of transitions to improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource

Your essay showcases a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choices. Focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

Your grammatical range is quite good, but there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice. Work on using complex sentence structures and accurate word usage to improve grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
diversity
inclusivity
balanced
learning environment
opportunities
perspectives
gender stereotypes
fairness
equal opportunities

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Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

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