Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The current educational systems throughout the world persist
to improve
the quality of education for all. There is an opinion that Change preposition
in improving
expresses
universities should accept an equal proportion of educators of each Verb problem
apply
gender
in every course. I, Use synonyms
however
, disagree with Linking Words
this
view Linking Words
due to
bringing an unfair situation and nurturing incompetent persons.
Generally, men are more inclined toward technical subjects Linking Words
such
as electronics and civil engineering. Linking Words
While
Linking Words
Females
have a great tendency to be professional in delicate subjects Use synonyms
such
as fashion design or nursing which is more suitable owing to their sympathetic and maternal instinct. Linking Words
Thus
, if universities accept the same number of applicants for both Linking Words
Use synonyms
gender
, it would be unfair to men or Fix the agreement mistake
genders
females
who are more skilful to achieve Use synonyms
this
position. Linking Words
In addition
, Universities should continue to select the best candidates Linking Words
according to
their qualifications. Linking Words
For example
, assume that more than 80 per cent of women tend to choose fashion as their career. If authorities eliminate 30 per cent of Linking Words
females
and Use synonyms
fulfil
with men who have a low tendency compared with the opposing Verb problem
fill
gender
, it is actually wrong Use synonyms
for ignoring
women students with higher talent.
Change preposition
to ignore
On the other hand
, some subjects require Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
gender
. A good illustration of Use synonyms
this
is the engineering sector with a high demand for body strength it would never be a suitable position for Linking Words
females
. Use synonyms
similarly
, in the nursing field, girls are more appropriate because of their nature of being more concerned.
In conclusion, it would be a wrong decision to register a candidate with the same percentage which brings negative consequences.Linking Words
Submitted by Poseidous on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the given topic and presents your opinion effectively. However, there are some points that could be strengthened.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure and coherent progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, and the main points are supported. Be careful with the use of transitions to improve cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Your essay showcases a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choices. Focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Your grammatical range is quite good, but there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice. Work on using complex sentence structures and accurate word usage to improve grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.