the diagram shows how concentrated apple juice is produced

the diagram shows how concentrated apple juice is produced
The diagram illustrates several steps of how the production of concentrated juice from apples is carried out.
It is clear that
there are 11 key stages involved in
this
process, beginning with apples being collected from trees and ending with finished products being delivered by trucks. As can be seen, during the first stage, apples are harvested and
then
selected to get the best ones.
Next,
qualified fruits are conveyed by a receiving belt to the washing and sorting procedure. After cleansed, those are ground carefully in a grinder before being moved to the pressing machine in order to be pressed. Here, a centrifuge is used to separate water from the fruit concentration. 
Subsequently
, a substance called aroma is added to the concentration and the mixture is ready for the following filtration process.
Moreover
, once filtered, the liquid is pasteurised at the temperature of 80 degrees Celsius before being filled in bottles in the 9th step.
Finally
, the finished products are packaged in boxes and transported by lorries to the supermarkets or markets for sale.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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