IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Intelligence is the most important component of leadership. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and support it with adequate examples.

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It is said by certain people that the much-needed factor of driving a
team
Use synonyms
 to success is intelligence. I completely agree with
this
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 statement. In
this
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 essay, I will elucidate
this
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 argument in more detail and offer my personal viewpoint. The growth of a company depends upon the intelligence of its leaders,
otherwise
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, the company cannot keep growing.
For example
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, the government which the Prime Minister without enough knowledge to develop the country must have a widespread negative effect on citizens.
In addition
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, every decision affects the outcome of an organization.
Thus
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, a smarter leader can prevent his or her
team
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 from making a wrong one. To illustrate
further
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, surgeons have to respond to a patient’s life. Life-threatening accidents might occur easily without having the right advice from a master.
Furthermore
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, any obstacles faced in a working environment cannot be solved without the experience lacked by inefficient management.
Hence
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, the presence of problem-solving skills is a must for every single one. Without the ability to solve any impediments, the manager will be looked at as.
For instance
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, in emergency circumstances, all members have to be ready to handle an unexpected thing.
Moreover
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, with the priority of a working atmosphere which can lead a company to success, the respective leader with
such
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 skills will be able to gather the employees to achieve the goals as a
team
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 to get the most efficient result. In conclusion, a leader’s intelligence is attributed to the development of any organization. Without
this
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, the entire teamwork in a
team
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 must not be completely constituted.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with a clear pattern of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more focused and engaging.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, but the ideas could be further developed and supported with more relevant examples.
lexical resource
The essay contains a good range of vocabulary, although some language use is imprecise and may lead to confusion.
grammatical range
The essay shows a relatively good command of grammar and sentence structures, but there are errors that affect clarity and precision.
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