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Writing Samples
Band 7

Online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. Do the advantages of online shopping for the consumer outweigh the disadvantages?

#consumers #loss #privacy #consumer
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In modern times
people
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 tend to do online shopping rather than go to shopping malls which is more convenient and saves
time
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. In
this
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 way, it may lead to some harmful consequences,
such
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 as losing consumers’ secure privacy. I do believe that the merits of shopping online could be overshadowed by demerits. On the one hand, consumers who are joining too many websites for shopping can easily lose their privacy. Nowadays
people
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 tend to use Internet banking when they make a purchase, so they need to provide their bank account, private information, and their address. Once their data is leaked, they will become hackers’ targets.
As a result
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, customers could be lost a variety of money which may affect their mental health and their private life.
On the other hand
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, shopping online can help
people
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 save a great deal of
time
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 in modern times. In the area of a fast-paced lifestyle,
people
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 hardly have free
time
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 to visit shopping malls or shop houses. Online platforms, which offer a various range of types, sizes, price ranges, etc. When consumers buy something on online platforms they can get more discounts and receive their products directly doorstep.
For example
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, when
people
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 need to buy a dress, they just need to search in the search bar on Shopee, Lazada, Amazon, etc. They will receive thousands of options with incredible prices and do some simple clicks. In conclusion,
although
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 some problems even appear and
people
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 cannot prevent them, shopping online is still the best choice for
people
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 who want to save
time
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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