Some people think that the most important function of music is to help people relax.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Many parts of the community think that

music

Use synonyms

has a big influence on people's daily moods because it can relieve stress. It can be true for some communities, but others think that melody can disturb their comfort too.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss these different views and give a conclusion.

Body · 1

On the one hand, listening to some kind of tune can lower the stress level because the beat can make bodies calm.

For example

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, slow-pop melody can help students to be more focused

while

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studying or listening to their favourite singing when in the operating room will avoid the fear of the patient. Other professionals

also

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recommend parents let their baby listen to jazz melodies in the womb because it will help the baby's

brain

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grow well

Rephrase

apply

show examples

which will make them smart.

Body · 2

On the other hand

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, many think that tune is a noisy sound that can annoy activity.

For instance

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, someone who wants to sleep should make their

brain

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stop working, but

music

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will make some parts of our

brain

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still work. Humans can more concentrate and focus when they don't listen to any kind of sound. In

this

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calmness, our

brain

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just thinks about the activity that we face without any disturbance because our

brain

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doesn't need to process another input.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I hardly believe that

music

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can make anyone relax based on the activity

that is

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done and the personality of each person. We can hear

music

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as long as we think it could increase our productivity. But, we should respect others' personal space, so it's important to use headphones or earphones when listening to

music

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in public areas to make anyone feel comfortable.

dewintaputri23

Aug 2, 2023

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task response

Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, and your ideas are well-supported with relevant examples. Keep up the good work!

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and effective coherence and cohesion. However, pay attention to using transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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