Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person

There is no doubt that the measuring scale for the

success

of a

person

wealth

and materialistic things. I

am disagreed

Wrong verb form

disagree

show examples

that

money

is the only

success

factor in human life.Factors of

success

vary from

person

which I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

discuss

further

this

essay.

Firstly

wealth

can not demonstrate how successful a

person

is,it depends on the goals and achievements of a

person

For instance

,if there is a doctor it does not matter how much

money

he has or which cars he is driving which things matter in his medical skills and how many lives he has saved

besides

this

for athletes

money

is not a

success

because

money

can not make him good athlete there are other abilities

such

as consistency, discipline, hard work,dedication and talent , rather than

money

for athlete only achievement is how many medals and trophies he had won.So,

money

and other luxuries do not make a

person

successful.

Secondly

wealth

makes a

person

look successful towards others but for the rich

money

is nothing.

For example

,there are a lot of people who have

money

to purchase food but can not eat

desired

Correct article usage

the desired

show examples

food

due to

different diseases

besides

this

many millionaires and even billionaires ended their lives

due to

various painful and awful diseases if

money

is successful

then

why is

money

can not by them good health? because

money

can only purchase materials

besides

this

wealth

and material all these things are left behind when a

person

dies ,so rather than preferring

wealthy

Correct article usage

a wealthy

show examples

life people should prefer

happy

Correct article usage

a happy

show examples

life.

To conclude

it is clear that

money

is not a scale to measure the

success

of others because they may not see

money

success

whereas

the

success

scale varies from

person

Submitted by muhammadwaleed8687 on Thu Aug 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be clearer and more distinct. Use better transition words and phrases to improve the coherence of the essay. The logical structure and flow of ideas require improvement to enhance coherence and cohesion.

task response

The response does not fully address the prompt and lacks in demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic. The essay needs more focus on the specific requirements of the prompt and should present a more complete and cohesive response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do benefits of this outweigh the drawbackss?

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern techonologies such as smartphones and computers. What is the cause of this? What are some possible solutions?

You were absent from an important event held by the company you work for. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Apologize for your absence and explain the reasoning. Explain why you had to be at the other event. Explain what you will do to catch up.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.