IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

New technologies present children with new possibilities and potential dangers. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of technology on children in today’s society.

#technologies #children #possibilities #dangers #technology #today’s #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the rapid development of
technology
Use synonyms
 makes it an unavoidable part of human daily life, including children.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 condition brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial impacts to facilitate children’s learning process, it is needed to consider the negative consequences in children’s development.
Technology
Use synonyms
 has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
sophisticated features called artificial intelligence that help
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 with their schoolwork. Children’s horizons become broader since a lot of information is provided
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet, especially for the things they have never seen directly in
surrounding
Correct pronoun usage
their surrounding
show examples
. It
also
Linking Words
 presents an interesting yet powerful way to learn using smart multimedia and animation, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it easier to understand. The use of
technology
Use synonyms
 among children shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast progress in bilingual acquisition as well. On the
othe
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, the conveniences offered by
technology
Use synonyms
bringe
Correct your spelling
bring
brings
 the seatback effect to
others aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
other aspects
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as low resilience to difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 social interaction.
Not to mention
Linking Words
 the effect of addiction that arise
due to
Linking Words
 the high frequency of use, which can lead to low emotion regulation and self-control skills.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the various facilities provided by
technology
Use synonyms
 require proper regulation so that the negative impact on children can be minimized.
Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: