New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, technology has dramatically affected worldwide. Everyone has a
cellphone
Correct your spelling
cell phone
on
their hands and digital Change preposition
in
devices
are advanced day by days
. Inevitably, causing the lifestyle of the young generation Fix the agreement mistake
day
be
sharply changed. Personally, Add the particle
to be
this
phenomenon brings loads of side effects. Moreover
, the disadvantages it brings to children
around the world,
is definitely surpassing the advantages.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, electronic devices
harm the eyes of humanity, especially affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
children
. The physical condition of Add an article
the child
child
is still immature, which means that the Fix the agreement mistake
children
affections
they have Fix the agreement mistake
affection
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
receive
Change the verb form
receiving
received
by
digital Change preposition
from
devices
are more than adults. In these
days, parents use Change preposition
These
cellphones
, laptops, video games, and television to distract their kids. Correct your spelling
cell phones
This
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
the
raising number of eye diseases among Correct article usage
a
children
. Second,
children
spend lots of time
on the
digital Correct article usage
apply
devices
, losing the chances
to explore the world. They do not have enough Fix the agreement mistake
chance
time
to fell
Correct your spelling
feel
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
beauty, running on the grass and playing with each other in the mud; Change noun form
nature's
instead
, they sacrifice their time
on Add an article
the cartoon
a cartoon
cartoon
and online games.
Some people might claim that they use electronic Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
devices
to teach their children
. It is undeniable that the
educational apps offer a great chance for Correct article usage
apply
children
to learn. For example
, the vivid sound, colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
picture
, and funny games. I believe that these could improve Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
children
’s learning motivation. However
, I also
consider that there are many kinds of effective learning ways, so why we
choose one Add a missing verb
do we
could
harm Correct pronoun usage
that could
children
’s health?
To sum up
, the development of technology brings convenient
to us, but the disadvantages are too huge to ignore. From my perspective, Replace the word
convenience
children
should choose healthier way
to spend their free Fix the agreement mistake
ways
time
, reading some story books or doing sport
outside, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
instead
of staring at the monitors.Submitted by anson900506 on
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