New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, technology has dramatically affected worldwide. Everyone has a
cellphone
Correct your spelling
cell phone
on
their hands and digital Change preposition
in
devices
are advanced day by Use synonyms
days
. Inevitably, causing the lifestyle of the young generation Fix the agreement mistake
day
be
sharply changed. Personally, Add the particle
to be
this
phenomenon brings loads of side effects. Linking Words
Moreover
, the disadvantages it brings to Linking Words
children
around the worldUse synonyms
,
is definitely surpassing the advantages.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, electronic Linking Words
devices
harm the eyes of humanity, especially Use synonyms
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
children
. The physical condition of Use synonyms
Add an article
the child
child
is still immature, which means that the Fix the agreement mistake
children
affections
they have Fix the agreement mistake
affection
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
receive
Change the verb form
receiving
received
by
digital Change preposition
from
devices
are more than adults. Use synonyms
In these
days, parents use Change preposition
These
cellphones
, laptops, video games, and television to distract their kids. Correct your spelling
cell phones
This
Linking Words
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
the
raising number of eye diseases among Correct article usage
a
children
. Use synonyms
Second,
Linking Words
children
spend lots of Use synonyms
time
on Use synonyms
the
digital Correct article usage
apply
devices
, losing the Use synonyms
chances
to explore the world. They do not have enough Fix the agreement mistake
chance
time
to Use synonyms
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
beauty, running on the grass and playing with each other in the mud; Change noun form
nature's
instead
, they sacrifice their Linking Words
time
on Use synonyms
Add an article
the cartoon
a cartoon
cartoon
and online games.
Some people might claim that they use electronic Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
devices
to teach their Use synonyms
children
. It is undeniable that Use synonyms
the
educational apps offer a great chance for Correct article usage
apply
children
to learn. Use synonyms
For example
, the vivid sound, Linking Words
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
picture
, and funny games. I believe that these could improve Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
children
’s learning motivation. Use synonyms
However
, I Linking Words
also
consider that there are many kinds of effective learning ways, so why Linking Words
we
choose one Add a missing verb
do we
could
harm Correct pronoun usage
that could
children
’s health?
Use synonyms
To sum up
, the development of technology brings Linking Words
convenient
to us, but the disadvantages are too huge to ignore. From my perspective, Replace the word
convenience
children
should choose healthier Use synonyms
way
to spend their free Fix the agreement mistake
ways
time
, reading some story books or doing Use synonyms
sport
outside, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
instead
of staring at the monitors.Linking Words
Submitted by anson900506 on
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