In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing their levels of habits health and fitness are decreasing cause and solution.

Presently, many people struggle with their uncontrolled weight gain because of their unhealthy lifestyle and physical laziness.

This

Linking Words

essay will argue that the main causes of

this

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prevalence are stress and dense

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

, and

then

Linking Words

will suggest we should practice good habits

Linking Words

Rephrase

apply

show examples

well as the localities should invest more in expanding recreational facilities in order to deal with

this

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issue. First and foremost, overweight can be a result of depression.

This

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is because when we tangle in mental issues, we might tend to overdose on junk food since snacking can stimulate the endorsement and comfort our nerves. Apart from

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

fast-paced

Correct article usage

a fast-paced

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life is

also

Linking Words

a source of destructive habits. The reason is,

when

Correct word choice

that when

show examples

people are stuck in a rat race, their mind is occupied by their work priority, so they might turn out to neglect to take care of their health.

For instance

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, many young in Vietnam have to simultaneously take in a nine-to-five job and join classes in the evening to pursue their master's degrees, leading to very little time to prepare meals and eat leisurely. The first possible remedy can be the attempt to adopt a balanced routine.

In other words

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, we can slow down our lives a little bit, set a fixed time frame for cooking and develop the willpower to abstain from preservative-filled items and alcoholic drinks. Another solution that needs to be considered is,

governments

Correct word choice

that governments

show examples

are required to encourage working out by building more infrastructures.

This

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policy is really effective as it makes residents feel convenient and motivated to train their physiques.

For example

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, since the construction of 15 fitness centres funded by Hanoi's authority in 2019,

this

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city has witnessed a strong movement of muscular training among the community.

To conclude

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, there is a health concern in many nations at the moment.

This

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is mainly caused by over-dedication in working and psychological suffering and can be treated by changing our mindset and the financial support from the governments.

nhatducmo

Aug 5, 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the causes of increasing average weight and suggests solutions. However, the essay needs to provide a clearer and more detailed explanation about the causes and solutions. Make sure to fully address each aspect by providing specific examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a generally logical structure and supported main points, but the introduction and conclusion could be stronger and more cohesive. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points of the essay and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key ideas presented.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary and uses language that is generally clear and appropriate for the topic. However, some word choices may be imprecise or inaccurate. Aim for more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some errors in sentence construction and grammar. Focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing their levels of habits health and fitness are decreasing cause and solution.

The internet provides us with info about life and cultures of different countries and some say it is not necessary to visit them to learn about them. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, yo save money for their future.

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is becoming increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way of funding them (e.g. government, businesses or individuals)?