In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing their levels of habits health and fitness are decreasing cause and solution.
Presently, many people struggle with their uncontrolled weight gain because of their unhealthy lifestyle and physical laziness.
This
essay will argue that the main causes of this
prevalence are stress and dense schedule
, and Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
then
will suggest we should practice good habits as
well as the localities should invest more in expanding recreational facilities in order to deal with Rephrase
apply
this
issue.
First and foremost, overweight can be a result of depression. This
is because when we tangle in mental issues, we might tend to overdose on junk food since snacking can stimulate the endorsement and comfort our nerves. Apart from it
, Correct pronoun usage
this
fast-paced
life is Correct article usage
a fast-paced
also
a source of destructive habits. The reason is, when
people are stuck in a rat race, their mind is occupied by their work priority, so they might turn out to neglect to take care of their health. Correct word choice
that when
For instance
, many young in Vietnam have to simultaneously take in a nine-to-five job and join classes in the evening to pursue their master's degrees, leading to very little time to prepare meals and eat leisurely.
The first possible remedy can be the attempt to adopt a balanced routine. In other words
, we can slow down our lives a little bit, set a fixed time frame for cooking and develop the willpower to abstain from preservative-filled items and alcoholic drinks. Another solution that needs to be considered is, governments
are required to encourage working out by building more infrastructures. Correct word choice
that governments
This
policy is really effective as it makes residents feel convenient and motivated to train their physiques. For example
, since the construction of 15 fitness centres funded by Hanoi's authority in 2019, this
city has witnessed a strong movement of muscular training among the community.
To conclude
, there is a health concern in many nations at the moment. This
is mainly caused by over-dedication in working and psychological suffering and can be treated by changing our mindset and the financial support from the governments.Submitted by nhatducmo on
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task response
The essay addresses the causes of increasing average weight and suggests solutions. However, the essay needs to provide a clearer and more detailed explanation about the causes and solutions. Make sure to fully address each aspect by providing specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a generally logical structure and supported main points, but the introduction and conclusion could be stronger and more cohesive. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points of the essay and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key ideas presented.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary and uses language that is generally clear and appropriate for the topic. However, some word choices may be imprecise or inaccurate. Aim for more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some errors in sentence construction and grammar. Focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation.