You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, - describe the situation - explain your problems and why it is difficult to work - say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

#room #college #student #arrangement #work #accommodation #officer #situation

Dear Sir or Madam, Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Ale and I am a

third year

Add a hyphen

third-year

show examples

student majoring in economic business. I am writing

this

letter regarding my room partners issue that made me difficult to work.

Firstly

, I have a side job in the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

of the city which start after college. It started on Monday until Saturday from 5 PM to 9 PM.

Secondly

, the job made me

returned

Wrong verb form

return

show examples

to college at 9.30 PM. During

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

conditions, I had to take a rest after work.

contrast

Add a comma

,contrast

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taking a rest, my roommates played

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

loudly.

Consequently

, I had discussed with him about my conditions, but he still rises some noises that made me uncomfortable to release my tiredness. I kindly ask your help to relocate me or my roommates because of

this

issue. I would like you to consider my suggestion to resolve

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

matter. Yours faithfully, Ale

Submitted by wilztan6700 on Tue Aug 08 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

154 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others believe it is a waste of money since people can access the internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both the side and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Discuss the reason behind this trend. Is it a positive or negative development?

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of peoples lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of peoples lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.