Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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It is true that there is a tendency to be well-known all over the world because of the

life

Use synonyms

conditions being rich and riveting for the public

whereas

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people who maintained achievements and reached their goals become unmentioned. Personally, I completely disagree with

this

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statement and those ought to be prominent who succeeded in

life

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and worked to boost specific fields of society. First and foremost, famous people are pursued by youngsters and teenagers.

This

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means that younger generations are being grown up by celebrities, namely bloggers in social media. Following successful people, who get fame thanks to their abilities and skills

such

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as Elon Musk, is more beneficial for teenagers to get motivation

together with

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incentives to strive to study and have a purpose to attain achievements rather than giving preference to effortless and mesmerizing lifestyles of wealthy ones.

Secondly

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, there is a peril for the personality traits of youngsters because of pursuing bloggers who provide unhealthy diets and curse words in speeches.

Thus

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, it is advantageous to follow scientists or influencers who are making breakthroughs in technology or science. Let us take a look at the mental conditions of followers. Nowadays, it is a crucial issue to have a low interest in

life

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and be under a lot of strain because of seeing others' lifestyles and desire to have it.

For instance

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, pursuing others’

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

may lead to dissatisfaction and criticism of their

life

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because of not having the ability to afford an astonishing lifestyle. In conclusion, following wealthy and rich celebrities

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

more drawbacks than positive outcomes.

To conclude

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, I strongly believe that for everyone it would be beneficial to pursue celebrities who reached goals and success in their

life

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because it may be a source of motivation to attain their own achievements.

Submitted by arnakaldybai on Wed Aug 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay addresses the prompt but lacks a clear overall structure, consider organizing the essay with better paragraph structure and topic sentences to improve coherence.

task achievement

The essay provides some relevant ideas but does not fully address all aspects of the task. The examples provided could be more specific and well-developed to improve task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Many people believe that a rigorous diet and intensive workout in a short spam can help achieve fitness goals, whereas others think that healthy eating and moderate exercise can provide better long-term outcomes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?