Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the modern era, the relationship between public

health

and environmental factors has become increasingly evident.

While

medical advancements have played a crucial role in preventing and treating illnesses, addressing environmental

pollution

and housing problems is equally imperative. I firmly agree that

governments

should prioritize these issues to mitigate the risks of illness and disease.

Firstly

, environmental

pollution

poses significant

health

hazards. Air

pollution

for instance

, contributes to respiratory

diseases

such

as asthma and bronchitis. Water

pollution

leads to waterborne

diseases

like cholera and dysentery. By reducing

pollution

levels through stricter regulations on industries and promoting cleaner energy sources,

governments

can substantially improve public

health

outcomes.

Secondly

, housing problems directly impact

health

outcomes. Inadequate housing conditions, including overcrowding and poor sanitation, are breeding grounds for infectious

diseases

such

as tuberculosis and influenza.

Moreover

, substandard housing exacerbates chronic

health

conditions like cardiovascular

diseases

and mental

health

disorders.

Governments

should prioritize initiatives to improve housing quality, ensuring access to safe and affordable housing for all citizens.

Furthermore

, addressing environmental

pollution

and housing issues is a preventive approach that can alleviate the burden on healthcare systems. By investing in

pollution

control measures and housing infrastructure,

governments

can reduce the prevalence of preventable

diseases

, leading to fewer hospitalizations and lower healthcare costs in the long run. In conclusion, prioritizing efforts to reduce environmental

pollution

and housing problems is paramount for safeguarding public

health

. By tackling these root causes,

governments

can create healthier and more sustainable environments for their citizens, ultimately leading to improved well-being and reduced healthcare burdens.

Submitted by monahhj123 on Thu Mar 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While you've clearly tackled the prompt and communicated your stance effectively, incorporating more specific examples and data would further strengthen your argument. For instance, when mentioning health hazards related to pollution and housing, citing studies or statistics to support these claims can make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay displays a strong logical structure, making your argument easy to follow. However, to enhance cohesion further, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to ensure a smoother flow of ideas throughout your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some cultures, children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Many parents in some cultures tell their children that they can reach anything if they put in enough effort. While this approach of encouraging children may be beneficial it also can have some drawbacks.
5.5
band
With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.
The increasing numbers of divorces and couple separations are happening in the global scale that indicates the fact that families' atmospheres are not as warm as before. Although there are root causes behind this issue, some policies can be applied to remedy the problem.
6.5
band
Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damanging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by education people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss buth view and give your opinion.
many communities assume that this problem can be addressed by teaching the community while others question its practicality. Personally, this writer doubts the effectiveness of education in dealing with this issue.
5.5
band
People from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Some people think that government should make it easier for them to enter universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
In this recent days, universities application has become more challenging and meticulous. Not only people from the cities who come from high socio-economic background find it difficult to get in, it becomes extremely hard for those people who come from rural areas with lower socio-economic group as well. In my opinion, I agree that the main body who is responsible to create an easy pathway will be the government.
4.5
band
When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
According to a survey, people would live a life without working rather than working in the whole life. This author disapproves of it because working is a necessary activity of live and to bring our dream in real life.

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some cultures, children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damanging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by education people while others believe that this education will not work. Discuss buth view and give your opinion.

People from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Some people think that government should make it easier for them to enter universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?