Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional religious festivals, during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people argue that humans no longer remember the original meaning of pastimes and they just want to have fun in these periods.

While

I believe that enjoyment is considered as a priority in festivals time. I do not agree that these religious

meaning

Fix the agreement mistake

meanings

show examples

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

faded away. On the one hand, It is understandable that families consider these feasts as opportunities for wonderful pastimes.

For example

, in many countries, Christmas is an occasion that all members gather around for shopping, having holidays and getting mouth-watering cuisine since

this

holiday is the time when all members have the same length of day off. The same behaviour can be seen in non-religious festivals like Bornfire night, citizens love watching the fireworks, and camping in the countryside.

In other words

, enjoyment and relaxation are the main goals.

On the other hand

, I disagree that communities have forgotten all the meaning behind these celebrations.

For instance

, in many nations, children are taught about the religious meaning of Christmas and Jesus' birthdays.

Furthermore

, in late December, kids sing the Holy Night song which has religious content and some even instruments the plays of telling stories about the Bonfire night.

Moreover

, families play a key role

to pass

Change preposition

in passing

show examples

knowledge about those meaningful ancient stories to young generations.

Therefore

, all meanings are retained from day to time and religious stories become a part of dwellers.

To conclude

while

entertainment is prioritised in many religious festivals, I have a strong belief that all their meaning

have

Verb problem

apply

show examples

still

remained

Wrong verb form

remain

show examples

in people's minds.

Submitted by kylehouston0194 on Sun Aug 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Expand on the argument and provide more comprehensive examples to strengthen your points.

coherence and cohesion

Connect your ideas more coherently by using transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

lexical resource

Enhance your vocabulary by using more diverse and precise word choices to elevate the quality of your writing.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accuracy and variety in your expression.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what are the measures should be taken to reduce this? Write at least 250 words.
Youngsters are challenging a lot of stress in recent times from studies, jobs, and business perspectives. The potential reason for this would be due to increased competition in the market. Giving more time for sports and fun activities would be a possible alternative to overcome pressure among children. This essay will discuss the possible reasons and measures to reduce stress in children by taking examples from newspapers and journals.
6.5
band
Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.
In this present world, academic standings have become a crucial factor for schools. Even universities choose their candidates based on grades only. While some individuals claim schools should opt for students with high standings, others believe that pupils with different abilities should not be separated. In the subsequent paragraphs, both views will be discussed, however, In my opinion, separating students with specific qualifications would be more beneficial.
5
band
In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.
n today’s world, many developed countries are experiencing a substantial increase in life’s duration and that caused a big obstacle for the government. This essay will illustrate major problems and possible solutions to reduce detrimental impact for this issue.
6.5
band
Government should invest more in public transportation systems. What is your opinion?
The issue of transportation has sparked considerable debate in recent times. Some people contend that the public transit systems should receive increased funding from the political leadership. In my point of view, I partly agree with the given perspective. This essay will discuss some reasons in support of my view.
6.5
band
Task 2: Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?
Some believe that staying healthy is so crucial that medical services should be accessible to all, therefore e commercial entities should not operate this service. Although private health can provide high-quality service, this advantage is outweighed by its drawbacks to inequality and profitable treatments.

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional religious festivals, during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what are the measures should be taken to reduce this? Write at least 250 words.

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

Government should invest more in public transportation systems. What is your opinion?

Task 2: Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?