Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional religious festivals, during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods

Some people argue that humans no longer remember the original meaning of pastimes and they just want to have fun in these periods.

While

I believe that enjoyment is considered as a priority in festivals time. I do not agree that these religious

meaning

Fix the agreement mistake

meanings

show examples

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

faded away. On the one hand, It is understandable that families consider these feasts as opportunities for wonderful pastimes.

For example

, in many countries, Christmas is an occasion that all members gather around for shopping, having holidays and getting mouth-watering cuisine since

this

holiday is the time when all members have the same length of day off. The same behaviour can be seen in non-religious festivals like Bornfire night, citizens love watching the fireworks, and camping in the countryside.

In other words

, enjoyment and relaxation are the main goals.

On the other hand

, I disagree that communities have forgotten all the meaning behind these celebrations.

For instance

, in many nations, children are taught about the religious meaning of Christmas and Jesus' birthdays.

Furthermore

, in late December, kids sing the Holy Night song which has religious content and some even instruments the plays of telling stories about the Bonfire night.

Moreover

, families play a key role

to pass

Change preposition

in passing

show examples

knowledge about those meaningful ancient stories to young generations.

Therefore

, all meanings are retained from day to time and religious stories become a part of dwellers.

To conclude

while

entertainment is prioritised in many religious festivals, I have a strong belief that all their meaning

have

Verb problem

apply

show examples

still

remained

Wrong verb form

remain

show examples

in people's minds.

Submitted by kylehouston0194 on Sun Aug 13 2023

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task response

Expand on the argument and provide more comprehensive examples to strengthen your points.

coherence and cohesion

Connect your ideas more coherently by using transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

lexical resource

Enhance your vocabulary by using more diverse and precise word choices to elevate the quality of your writing.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accuracy and variety in your expression.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional religious festivals, during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extant do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortages of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.