Some people think only the best students should be rewarded with academic distinctions; others think we should reward weaker students who make progress. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whether academic rewards should be reserved for top
students
Use synonyms
or
also
Linking Words
given to weaker
students
Use synonyms
who show
improvement
Use synonyms
is a debated topic in education. I believe both types of
students
Use synonyms
deserve recognition, but the awards should be designed differently. Those who support rewarding only the best
students
Use synonyms
argue that academic honours should be a fair return for ability and hard work. If everyone receives an
award
Use synonyms
, its value is diluted
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it loses its motivating power. In Taiwan,
for example
Linking Words
, the class merit
award
Use synonyms
is given only to top-ranking
students
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
competitive system does push
students
Use synonyms
to study harder and prepares them mentally for the realities of workplace competition in the future.
However
Linking Words
, focusing exclusively on top performers ignores the effort of the majority. A student who improves from 30 to 70 marks may have worked far harder than one who maintains a score of 90 to 95, yet if
such
Linking Words
progress receives no recognition, struggling
students
Use synonyms
can easily lose motivation and give up entirely. Research has shown that
students
Use synonyms
who receive encouragement for their
improvement
Use synonyms
are more likely to develop a long-term habit of learning. A more effective approach would be to create different categories of awards. Schools could offer an academic excellence
award
Use synonyms
for outstanding results
alongside
Punctuation problem
, alongside
show examples
a best
improvement
Use synonyms
award
Use synonyms
for significant progress.
This
Linking Words
way, high academic standards are maintained
while
Linking Words
all
students
Use synonyms
feel that their effort is acknowledged and valued. In conclusion, both excellence and effort deserve recognition. Schools should design a diverse reward system that motivates top achievers to maintain their standards
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
encouraging weaker
students
Use synonyms
to keep striving for
improvement
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Add one more clear example for the view about weak students. This can make your ideas more full.
task response
In paragraph two, you can explain a bit more why class awards help in real work life.
coherence and cohesion
Use a linking word at the start of the last body paragraph sentence group to make the move smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences can be cut into two shorter ones. This will make the flow even clearer.
task response
You answer both sides and give your own view clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point and good support.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
What to do next:
Look at other essays: