Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measure should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?
In today's world, more and more
children
are becoming obese, and Use synonyms
this
creates a number of problems for both the Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
the
parents. In Correct word choice
and the
this
essay, I will explain the main reasons why so many Linking Words
children
are becoming fatter, and I will give some solutions to these problems.
The first reason for childhood obesity is that young people nowadays eat too much Use synonyms
junk
Use synonyms
food
. Everyone knows that Use synonyms
junk
Use synonyms
food
has a lot of calories and is not good for our health. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
children
often love Use synonyms
this
kind of Linking Words
food
and when they eat too much of it, they get bigger. Another reason why more Use synonyms
children
are obese is that they do not do enough Use synonyms
exercise
. Exercising burns calories and helps us to have a normal weight.
One way to stop Use synonyms
children
from eating so much Use synonyms
junk
Use synonyms
food
is to ban advertising to Use synonyms
children
. Very often, Use synonyms
children
only want to eat things like chocolate and potato chips because they see advertisements Use synonyms
of
them on TV. Change preposition
for
Therefore
, if we stop Linking Words
this
kind of advertising, Linking Words
children
might not want Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
junk
Use synonyms
food
. Use synonyms
Additionally
, if we want to make Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
exercise
more, we should make it a more regular part of their school program. If Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
exercise
three times a week at school, they might lose some weight.
In conclusion, childhood obesity is a problem which exists because of Use synonyms
junk
Use synonyms
food
and not exercising; and we can solve Use synonyms
this
problem if we ban advertising to Linking Words
children
and if they Use synonyms
exercise
more at school. It is important that governments and parents think seriously about Use synonyms
this
problem because the health of Linking Words
children
is extremely important.Use synonyms
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task achievement
You could strengthen your essay by including more specific examples to support your points. For instance, providing data or case studies related to advertising impact on children's eating habits would enhance credibility.
task achievement
Consider adding a bit more elaboration on how exactly the proposed measures would be implemented and enforced. For example, who would regulate junk food advertising, and in what capacity would schools increase physical activity?
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but transitions can be made smoother. Use more varied linking words or phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the problem and solution effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-organized, making it easy to follow the argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
You clearly identify two primary causes of childhood obesity and propose thoughtful, relevant solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.