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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.
#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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People have different views about the trend of monitoring people’s behaviour with technical
devices
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.
While
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 it brings several benefits. I believe that it harms personal privacy and
security
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. The disadvantages of
this
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 development outweigh the advantages for sure. On the one hand, monitor
devices
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 can track people’s whereabouts and record
information
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 to check for criminals.
For example
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,
firstly
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, parents can track their children during the path of going back
to
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apply
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home after school with
Correct article usage
a smartphones
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smartphones
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smartphone
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 tracking function.
This
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 help adults keep an eye on their child in order to prevent violence or kidnaps.
Secondly
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, the navigation system in cars provides opportunities for search and rescue teams to locate victims of mountain accidents.
Thirdly
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, police officers
use
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security
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 cameras to record and capture
footages
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footage
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 of public areas. The videos in it might become vital evidence once crimes are convicted. Monitor
devices
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 play an important role in maintaining personal and public
security
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.
On the other hand
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, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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smartphones and
security
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 cameras send GPS
data
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 and footage through internet connections.
Although
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 they give the
data
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 and videos for us to protect ourselves, they exposed our personal
information
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 on the internet. If people’s cell phones and police stations are attacked by hackers, it may lead to serious
security
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 problems.
However
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, there is a vast majority
that is
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 lack
of
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apply
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personal
data
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security
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 awareness. They enjoy the convenience and are unaware of the hidden crisis. The government and the authorities should raise their
security
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 level,
use
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 the public’s
data
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 properly, and be responsible for establishing the public’s
security
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 awareness and promoting the correct concept of the
use
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 of the internet.
Overall
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, the monitor device is a double-edged sword. They can help keep us safe, but they
also
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 might not protect our personal
information
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 well. It's important for the government and people to be careful with how they
use
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 these
devices
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 and to make sure our
information
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 stays safe.
Submitted by BeckyJ on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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