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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
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It is believed by experts that
children
 should start learning a foreign
language
 from primary school. In my opinion, the benefits of
such
 a system outweigh its drawbacks. Beginning to learn a non-native
language
 can have disadvantages,
such
 as high educational pressure on
children
 and limited time for their native
language
.
However
, there are some advantages as well,
such
 as utilizing a ‘fresh mind’ for learning languages and developing multitasking abilities. Learning unfamiliar languages can be considered an unnecessary burden, especially when it comes to primary school-aged pupils.
For example
, recent research on
children
’s mental health proved that learning several languages led to a decrease in performance.
Additionally
,
such
 an approach can reduce the time spent learning their mother tongue, which can affect their national identity.
For instance
, the majority of migrants, on average, forget their native tongue
due to
 paying more attention to another
language
. It is much easier to learn a
language
 at a young age, as
children
 tend to have better memory. As a meta-analysis on
this
 topic suggests, the younger the student, the better their memorizing ability.
Moreover
, starting to learn a foreign
language
 at a younger age can help strengthen multitasking, so the student may be able to manage several tasks at once.
For example
, pupils in Kazakhstan can learn both English and Kazakh without any difficulties. Some experts strongly believe that it is better for
children
to begin
 learning a foreign
language
 at primary school rather than secondary school. There may be disagreement with
this
 statement, as it could create too high a workload and negatively affect their knowledge of their native
language
.
However
, it is much easier to learn a
language
 at a young age, and it can help improve multitasking skills.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a good overall response to the prompt, addressing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the examples and points made could be elaborated upon for more depth. For example, try to explain a bit more about how multitasking abilities are developed through early language learning.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases. Additionally, providing a summary or a concluding sentence at the end of each paragraph can help reinforce your points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clear, but try to ensure that they are all well-supported with detailed examples and explanations. This will help make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion by touching on both the advantages and the disadvantages of early language learning.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good level of language proficiency and clear communication of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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