Scientists advise people to lead a healthy lifestyle, but most people continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think it is and what can do with it

Through my observation in my daily
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
see that many
people
have a
life
with unhealthy activities, so I do agree with
scientists
Correct pronoun usage
what scientists
show examples
said. Living a healthy lifestyle will help us have a happy
life
but there are many reason
people
do not follow
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
healthy lifestyle
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
they lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
motivation,
while
others have attracted by unhealthy activities. Maybe there are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
habit
in the past and now
people
find
hard
Correct pronoun usage
it hard
show examples
to change their old bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
.
Besides
living in
bad
Add an article
a bad
the bad
show examples
situation
also
have a big effect on each individual, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if they want to live a better
life
people
need to take more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
. To encourage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
to lead a healthy
lifestye
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
we need to have a good education and build a better living place. We
also
need to program to motivate and make all
people
know the fact that a healthy
lifestye
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
buid
Correct your spelling
build
happy
life
and not only educate,
motivate
Correct word choice
and motivate
show examples
but
also
need to follow up with the one needed.
To conclude
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
just want to say that "You are the change you need" We all need to know the fact that we need to change
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
to make a better version of
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: