IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some
situations
Use synonyms
, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 gives
people
Use synonyms
 opportunities to climb the success ladder faster, and some
risks
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 pivotal factors to push
people
Use synonyms
 to overcome their
fears
Use synonyms
 in their personal and professional
lives
Use synonyms
. I strongly believe that despite some virtues of taking
risks
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as overcoming some
fears
Use synonyms
 related to
people
Use synonyms
’s
lives
Use synonyms
 and as a factor of obtaining great success, it can
also
Linking Words
 have some drawbacks. To commence with, some
people
Use synonyms
 are enthusiastic about taking
risks
Use synonyms
, because they consider it as a key factor to derive them to gain their
goals
Use synonyms
 in their personal and professional
lives
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, by taking
risks
Use synonyms
 in some
situations
Use synonyms
, individuals can
also
Linking Words
 walk through the successful routes quicker than others and they approach their
goals
Use synonyms
 quickly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, being in risky
situations
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who cannot make decisions easily is beneficial, because these
people
Use synonyms
 can virtually overcome their
fears
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, considering employees, do routine work,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they do not tend to contact big investors in the company. If employees attempt to converse with big investors and shareholders and do some prominent activities in the company,
therefore
Linking Words
 they can find their real status quicker. On the flip side, some
people
Use synonyms
 opine that taking
risks
Use synonyms
 has some upsides
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 some
situations
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 lose their money or status by gambling. Individuals make efforts to save their money during their
lives
Use synonyms
, and they invest all assets in a risky situation.
As a result
Linking Words
, they might lose their properties in a night.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country,
people
Use synonyms
 invested in the stock markets, and they sold their houses, cars, and so forth. They heard that by investing in stock markets, they could obtain a huge amount of money. After one year, all
people
Use synonyms
 who invested in
this
Linking Words
 market, lost their assets and some became homeless. In conclusion, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 has some upsides
such
Linking Words
 as
people
Use synonyms
’s achieving their
goals
Use synonyms
 quicker and overcoming their
fears
Use synonyms
 in their professional and personal
lives
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, the disadvantages should be taken into account. I firmly believe that by taking rational decisions
people
Use synonyms
 can reach their
goals
Use synonyms
 on time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: