Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people To what extend are you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievement #sets #people

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Famous people are known to be one of the most controversial areas of debate these days. A lot of individuals consider modern stars to be a terrible example to the young generation. Despite a few celebrities who are definitely appreciated for their achievement, I completely agree with the fact that most of them do not deserve to be popular. On the one hand, some humans still prefer people who became famous

due to

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their success in a particular field.

Likewise

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, rich and intelligent businessmen used to share their thoughts and tips on how to succeed in a materialistic life. Especially, those who work with technology are considered to be well-educated individuals with high IQ levels,

therefore

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they could eventually motivate teenagers to study in order to achieve some goals.

For example

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, Ilon Mask and Mark Zuckerberg have become extremely famous

due to

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their cognitive skills, hard work and patience. Without a doubt, their young auditory could see

this

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kind of approach and follow it.

On the other hand

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, I agree that nowadays almost every singer, influencer or blogger has nothing in common with real achievement,

therefore

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they could not be an idol for others.

To begin

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with, some celebrities used to show inappropriate actions

such

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as vandalism or committing crimes on their accounts on social media and explain it to be an ordinary part of our life.

For instance

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, bloggers like Maryana Ro stole extremely expensive cups in a store in the of centre London and

then

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posted

this

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content, so every follower could see it.

Moreover

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, hundreds of modern singers produce their music merely by faking their voices using special applications.

In addition

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, their lyrics are full of sexual and violent context,

therefore

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listening to these songs could have a harmful impact on the mental health of young people.

To conclude

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, despite varying opinions, I reckon that the trend of following celebrities who are merely glamorous but empty inside could have a terrible impact on the development of teenagers and young adults. O

Submitted by sofsya.fedorenko.2001 on Thu Aug 17 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

334 words

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people To what extend are you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people are choosing to live on their own. Is this a positive or a negative trend?What is your opinion and share your personal experiences? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowdays, many people complain that they have deficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Today, many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of their life, but few of them can achieve it. What are the problems in trying it? What measures can be taken to solve this problem?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep, What problems can lack of steep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?