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Band 7

Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #media #lives
It is irrefutable that
media
 has the greatest impact over the lives of people at present.
Media
 can control lives either in positive or negative ways.
Although
 some people might believe that
media
 is always influencing lives negatively, I would like to go on the opposite side. I believe that
media
 has the power and objective to positively shape the societal believes and cultures.
To begin
 with,
media
 helps out in developing awareness among people regarding different issues.
For instance
: during covid 19 pandemic
media
 has played an invaluable role in raising consciousness related to spread of diseases. The rising toll of deaths, number of infected peoples and campaigns related to
this
 disease and its vulnerability were presented before us through
media
. If
media
 wasn’t there to broadcast live all these things and help us to abreast, we couldn’t be able to fight with that infectious disease.
Furthermore
, news
media
 entertains us with different live broadcasts.
For instance
: The Cricket World Cup and the FIFA World are the two most enjoyed TV shows in the earth. News
media
 and different sports
media
 assist in capturing the complete live event.
However
, sometimes, yellow journalism becomes a great issue for a country where there is no proper guidelines and regulations regarding journalism and their enforcement. Fake news and rumors can destroy a whole within just few hours.
This
 becomes more prominent particularly when
media
 gets influenced by political leaders. In conclusion,
media
 has some downsides which can not be denied but at the same time, the positive contribution that
media
 is developing will certainly outweigh those negative sides if proper guidelines are made and enforced.
Submitted by arefinneloy1 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Expand on your ideas providing more depth and detailed examples. Support each main point with relevant, specific evidence or examples. Avoid repeating the same ideas and aim for a greater variety of sentence structures and vocabulary.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task sufficiently. This includes both sides of the argument and your own opinion. Ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that your conclusion reflects the arguments presented.
task achievement
Work on developing a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay, ensuring that your opinion is not just mentioned in the conclusion but is integrated into the entire discussion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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