Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise every day, they will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the causes and solutions?
As people age, staying active and socially connected becomes increasingly important for their
health
and well-being. Experts suggest that if the elderly spend time with others and exercise daily, they will enjoy better health
and happiness. However
, many seniors
experience feelings of isolation and physical decline. In this
essay, I will examine the causes of loneliness
and lack of fitness
among the elderly, and propose some possible solutions.
There are several reasons why many older adults suffer from loneliness
. Firstly
, they may have lost their spouses and friends, which leads to a reduced social network. Secondly
, the physical limitations of aging
may make it harder to get out and socialize, especially for those with mobility problems. Change the spelling
ageing
Thirdly
, modern technologies can create barriers to communication, as older adults may struggle to use
new devices and social media platforms.
In addition
to loneliness
, many elderly people also
experience a decline in physical fitness
. This
can be caused by a number of factors, such
as a lack of physical activity, poor diet, and chronic health
conditions. Furthermore
, some seniors
may be afraid to exercise or engage in physical activities due to
concerns about falls or injuries.
Fortunately, there are several solutions to address these issues. One possible solution is to provide more opportunities for seniors
to socialize and stay physically active. Community centers
can offer group Change the spelling
centres
fitness
classes and social events, which can help to combat loneliness
and improve physical health
. Moreover
, volunteering and participating in hobbies or clubs can also
be effective ways for older adults to stay engaged with their community.
Another possible solution is to offer more resources and education on how to use
technology to stay connected with family and friends. This
can include providing training on how to use
social media platforms or offering technology assistance programs for seniors
who may struggle to use
new devices.
In conclusion, loneliness
and lack of fitness
are significant challenges facing many elderly people. However
, by providing more opportunities for socialization and physical activity, and offering resources to help seniors
stay connected with technology, we can improve their health
and well-being. By investing in the elderly, we can ensure that they have the support and resources they need to live happy and healthy lives.Submitted by tranthanhvan2409 on
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Task Achievement
The essay displays an excellent level of understanding of the task. You consistently addressed all parts of the task, maintaining a clear focus throughout the response. One suggestion to improve task achievement might be to delve deeper into specific, substantial examples rather than presenting a broader view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with relevant introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are arranged coherently, making the text easy to follow. You effectively use cohesive devices and conjunctions to connect the ideas. However, to reach a full score on supported main points, try to build stronger arguments around your central themes.
Lexical Resource
Your lexical resource is rich and allows for effective expression of ideas. Full marks are achievable by increasing the variety of vocabulary used, especially in the descriptive detailing of causes and solutions.
Grammatical Range
Your control of grammatical structures is outstanding. You demonstrated a good range of complex sentences. However, there is room for more sophisticated structures and varieties in grammatical forms to achieve the top band score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.