Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

The question of whether older people should live with their adult children has sparked heated debate. Another choice is going to a retirement centre. In fact, facilities nowadays not only provide medical care but

also

recreational events that considerably improve happiness among them.

Therefore

, I tend to support the idea. In the essay, I will elucidate in more detail and give my own opinions. Living in a holiday resort after retirement has gained prevalence these days since there are multiple benefits that cannot be ignored. First of all, doctors and nurses offer professional services in these centres which ensures inhabitants’ basic health and prevents any emergency.

Thus

, both chronic diseases and urgent events can be well taken.

For example

, nurses can immediately handle accident events

such

as failing and prevent

further

harm. With experts and equipment, a nursing home is resembling a real hospital.

On the other hand

, hardware

such

as a water pool, specialized gym and playroom are generally equipped.

As a result

, aged citizens can utilize these properties to do physical recoveries or entertainment activities.

Furthermore

, individuals at near ages living together better promotes the possibility that they become friends, because the same generation may share similar values and life experiences.

For instance

, they can play poker or exercise together, improving their friendship with each other.

Nevertheless

, staying with their adult kids has advantages and disadvantages. On the bright side, it builds closer relationships with a family.

Moreover

, families can tackle any issue imminently.

Instead

, family arrangements for grandsons and the elders usually conflict, leading to unnecessary quarrels from time to time.

Additionally

, lacking medical knowledge and available time, it becomes a burden for their children to take care of aged ones. In conclusion, retirement retreat has brought a whole new option for the second half of life. Including medical care and installations, life quality is considerably enhanced. Though, living with their children has both pros and cons, it often demonstrates a significant loading towards the minders.

As a consequence

, I personally believe that the approach is a positive progress for all humanity at large.

Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on Fri Aug 18 2023

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coherence

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is logically connected to the following paragraph to improve coherence.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and fluently.

grammatical range

Work on using a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a more advanced level of grammar.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

347 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that to learn a second language well it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken.What is your opinion about this?

Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Scientists argue that many people eat too much junk food, and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.