IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Student should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass the exam, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #exam #skills
Schools have been a place where concepts,
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and information about certain aspects of
life
 or subjects are inculcated into people. Recently there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been an argument that teaching non-academic courses like cooking and dressing should be eliminated
while
students
 undergo tutoring for the subjects considered "academic" in order to succeed in their exam. I disagree with
this
 proposition because of the advantages that having both sides of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education offer to
students
. Amongst the numerous benefits is the fact that
students
 acquire training
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
 skills. Learning about some
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 subjects
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 moments of teamwork, resilience, determination and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
. All these are vital skills individuals are to possess so as to live wholly in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, have good working experience with co-workers and achieve more in
life
.
For instance
, high school
students
 who learnt how to cook in school may be able to make their own meals when they are in college.
Additionally
, it promotes
self expression
Add a hyphen
self-expression
show examples
,
self discovery
Add a hyphen
self-discovery
show examples
 and creativity. Many academic courses are regimental in their pattern and
this
 entails that these patterns are adhered to.
Whereas
, cooking and dressing have a bit more flexible pattern which encourages the actualization of these benefits mentioned. An example can be seen among
students
 who decide to use varying styles for their
outfit
Fix the agreement mistake
outfits
show examples
 because it identifies their personality.
To conclude
, having
students
 undergo both aspects of formal education has more positive prospects than
otherwise
 because of the
life
 skills and personal development that they may acquire alongside their academic knowledge.
Submitted by Gej@22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!