IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are a student who wants to apply to the Green Pines College. You are experiencing financial problems at the moment. Write a letter to the Principal of the College explaining your situation and ask for information on scholarships or other means of financial help available.

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to let you know that I am a destitute learner who wants to continue my
further
Linking Words
 education at Green
pines college
Correct your spelling
Pines College
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. Currently, I am facing financial hardship. I hope you are in a position to help me in
this
Linking Words
 regard. My name is Payal Vyas and I completed secondary school
last
Linking Words
 year and hoping to study at Green
pines college
Correct your spelling
Pines College
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.My favourite subject is Human Resource Management. Unfortunately, my financial background does not allow me to continue with the application. I would really appreciate it if you could help me with some scholarships or any other financial support. I am very good at studies and secured 95% at the secondary level. I have included my address and a reference from my previous teacher for your consideration. I would like to let you know that I am available for one-on-one interaction
in
Change preposition
if
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 needed. Thank you for reading
this
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 letter and I expect a positive reply from you. Yours sincerely Payal Vyas

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task achievement
Try to provide more details about your financial situation or specific needs to strengthen your request.
coherence and cohesion
Consider separating your ideas more clearly between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure the college name is consistently capitalized to enhance professionalism (e.g., 'Green Pines College').
tone
The letter has a polite tone, demonstrating respect and professionalism, which is crucial in formal communication.
content
The inclusion of your academic achievement (95% in secondary school) supports your request effectively, showcasing your commitment to education.
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