Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The advancement of technology has sparked a debate on whether
computers
can surpass human intelligence.
While
some scientists believe that
this
is a positive trend, others insist on considering possible negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
. I would like to discover supporting ideas for each matter and mention my viewpoint. People in science who embrace the idea of predominance of computer intelligence claim that the benefits of
this
evolving
Replace the word
evolution
show examples
can outweigh any drawbacks. The more powerful
computers
are the more complex calculations can be done and,
as a result
, more breakthroughs can be achieved in science, technology, medicine, etc.
In addition
,
computers
can assist in more mundane or semi-mundane tasks and jobs and prevent human mistakes.
Furthermore
,
this
evolution looks safe as machines are limited to program scripts developed by humans, so their behaviour is limited by predefined rulesets. From my perspective, these arguments sound persuasive enough to join the team of supporters of
this
tendency. From another point of view, the consequences of computer improvement cannot be fully predicted. We should consider that
this
powerful technology can be weaponized by malicious individuals and be used in developing more lethal and sophisticated mass destruction weapons or spreading more contagious computer viruses.
Moreover
, we should take into account unintentional human mistakes that can lead to life-threatening consequences.
For instance
, a flaw in medical software can cause invalid drug dosages and,
as a result
, death or life-lasting disabilities.
However
, these potential risks can be mitigated through legal and physical regulations. Taking into consideration written above, we can conclude that ongoing debate around surpassing human intelligence by
computers
necessitates careful consideration of the benefits and risks involved. Striking a harmonious balance between improvement and regulations is crucial to ensure that we can harness positive outcomes
while
minimizing potential drawbacks.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure, with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. This structure is present, but work can be done to improve the clarity and flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. While you have provided some examples and reasoning, dig deeper into specific scenarios to illustrate your points more effectively.
task achievement
Maintain a clear purpose throughout the essay, which you have done reasonably well, but ensure each paragraph directly supports your overall stance. Some additional focus on how each idea ties back to your opinion would enhance task achievement.
task achievement
Provide a more elaborate exposition of both views before stating your opinion to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Your essay shows good task achievement, but could offer a more nuanced exploration of both perspectives.
language
Consider introducing more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary to enhance the linguistic range and demonstrate higher language proficiency within your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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