IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#cultures #children #message #reason
In some parts of the world,
parents
 used to declare to their
children
 that they can be successful in every area if they try their best as a cultural behaviour. In
this
 essay, it will be discussed the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 act for
parents
. In my perspective, one of the positive effects of
this
 behaviour is to make
children
 have decent confidence about their abilities. Because at younger ages,
people
 have a tendency to believe they are not enough to accomplish what they desire.
For instance
, some
people
 may feel more encouraged when someone tells them that they are not enough clever or hard worker to achieve something.
However
 for me, if they tell me that I have the potential of getting any achievements, it really boosts my motivation.
Secondly
, Another advantage of telling
children
 they are capable of achieving everything if they try hard is to push
children
 to become successful
people
. Because every
people
 needs someone who believes and supports them in their life. One of the disadvantages of
parents
 telling their kids that they can be successful anything if they work hard is
children
 may feel so much pressure after hearing those kinds of words from their
parents
. Because they may think that they have to gain achievement everything when they tried so hard. But
children
 need to learn that everything may not happen how they are expected even when they tried so hard for it.
For example
, I choose to study science class at high school because my
parents
 encouraged me to do that. I thought I could handle all the math and science classes easily If I spent some time studying
however
 it didn't go what exactly I thought.
Submitted by fyzalkac on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: