Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games

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In contemporary society, there are many

activities

Use synonyms

which improve children's ability that can do it whether indoors like reading a book or outdoors like playing football.

Therefore

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, some people think that development is more advantageous for their kids when children do some

activities

Use synonyms

outside

instead

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of doing in inside the house.

This

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essay will discuss both sides of the controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided. On the one hand, advocates of

this

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perspective believe that outside amusements

such

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as soccer, basketball, and American football can improve their capacities.

It is clear that

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these

activities

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can assist health, communication, and strategy.

For example

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, when some do sports like swimming or football, they have to practice their breathing in order to run or swim more than others and

also

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it can help their health;

for

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this

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reason, many parents let their offspring join sports clubs since their young.

Although

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this

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idea brings about many benefits, individuals participating

also

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get injured.

On the other hand

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, those who think that playing computer games

also

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brings about advantages for their children. It is obvious that playing games can directly develop to brain

such

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as how to deal with an unexpected situation or communicate with teammates.

For instance

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, when students role-play like an investigator, they have to use their brains to solve the puzzle. In conclusion, some individuals believe that outdoor

activities

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are more advantageous than playing online games for kid's development. In my view, I strongly believe that both inside and outside

activities

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can improve ability which are different.

Submitted by champperkhu on Thu Dec 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates some structure, but the logical flow could be improved. Ideas often appear disconnected, and there is a lack of clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain one main idea with supporting sentences that relate directly back to it.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are presented, but they lack clarity and specificity. Ensure that your thesis statement in the introduction outlines the main points briefly. The conclusion should summarize your position succinctly, without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

While some main ideas are supported, the development is insufficient. To strengthen the argument, provide more specific examples and explanations. Each main idea should be expanded comprehensively within its own paragraph.

task achievement

You've responded to the task by discussing both sides, but the response is not entirely complete. To increase your score, your essay should consistently and directly answer the prompt throughout. Clearly state whether you agree or disagree, and consistently support this position.

task achievement

Ideas are somewhat clear but they lack depth. To enhance your essay, ensure that the ideas presented are fully explored, comprehensive, and clearly communicated. Use specific details to illustrate your points convincingly.

task achievement

You provided a few relevant examples, which is good. To improve, consider using a wider range of examples and ensure they are specific and directly support your argument. Examples should be detailed and demonstrate how they relate to your main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical development
Overall health
Coordination
Foster
Social skills
Teamwork
Mental well-being
Creativity
Exploration
Strategic thinking
Problem-solving
Hand-eye coordination
Sedentary lifestyles
Social isolation
Moderation
Balanced approach
Detract
Obesity
Poor posture

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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Some think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Write a letter to the editor to give your opinion about a magazine that you purchased. Include Why you bought it What you liked and disliked about it Suggestions for improvement

A staggering amount of food is wasted every year, both in businesses and household. Why is this happening? What can be done to tackle this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.