IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that robots are important to human's future development while others believe they are dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #robots #future #development
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There is a great chunk of discussion on the effect of cyborgs on human growth.
Although
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 it seems convincing to some extent that automated machines are hazardous, I tend to believe in the significance they bring to human progress. On the one hand, it is understandable why
robots
Use synonyms
 pose a threat to human development.
Firstly
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, they may lead to widespread job displacement, especially in manufacturing tasks. The consequence is more people will be at risk of losing jobs and income, which makes them unable to feed their families.
Secondly
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, human’s overdependence on
robots
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 might increase a sedentary lifestyle in humanity, which creates a variety of illnesses
such
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 as eye-related and cardiovascular diseases.
This
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 happens because thanks to some advanced gadgets
such
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 as robot vacuums and washing machines, people nowadays tend to be lazier with household chores and lack physical activities.
On the other hand
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, there are several reasons why cyborgs are of great importance. The first rationale is that they facilitate students’ studies by allowing them to access a wide variety of knowledge.
For instance
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, owing to the Google search engine, now every student may find materials or references they need faster and more accurately rather than trawling in a library. Another reason to be mentioned is that they may lead to enhancing transparency in a political system, which creates a more civilized and transparent society. To explain, if that system is controlled fully by
robots
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,
then
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 might reduce the risk of human-made crimes
such
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 as bribery and corruption. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that
robots
Use synonyms
 play a substantial role rather than threatening the development of humanity.
Submitted by Pham Thi An Thu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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