Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is benefcial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? Write about the following topic: Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or examples

In the modern
world
Add a comma
world,
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globalization is inevitable. It connects the whole
world
regardless of location, gender or race. At present, we are able to witness different cultures and various living habits
due to
this
global connectivity. Obviously, globalization has many perks. Meanwhile, it
also
carries negative aspects.
This
essay will discuss the positive and negative developments
due to
these worldwide interactions. In the past, communities lived merely in isolation. They had little relationships with the outside
world
. The Europeans were able to reach the American continent and the Asian continent in the latter part of the 15th century. Gradually, with the development of naval transportation, people were able to discover the new
world
.
Subsequently
, the
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
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helped to connect more and more nations together. By the end of the
20th-century
Correct your spelling
20th century
whole
world
was linked to an extensive network. In
this
new age, anyone can access any information at any time. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance, I can buy a mobile phone from a Japanese vendor through the Internet or I am able to follow news in America.
Therefore
,
this
worldwide phenomenon has increased the efficiency and convenience of life.
On the other hand
, the distribution of every living norm has not been even.
For example
, Indian people are embracing a Western lifestyle. Particularly, eating habits and dressing preferences have been altered drastically.
Consequently
, indigenous traditions are endangered. Some unique customs and morals have been extinct. In conclusion, globalization is an essential factor for the developing
world
. It connects territories and nourishes countries. The
world
will not be the same as now if it wasn’t for
this
rapid development. Simultaneously, it destroys authentic living habits and cultural diversity. Considering the above reasons, the positive movement appears to overrule the negative movement.
Submitted by wmpabasara2 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, you might want to improve the logical flow between some of your paragraphs. Use cohesive devices like linking words to ensure a smoother transition.
task achievement
While you have addressed both the positive and negative aspects of globalization, providing more specific examples and detailed analysis could strengthen your argument. For instance, mention actual cultural traditions or specific benefits related to global trade.
task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task, but try to expand your points more comprehensively. Going deeper into how globalization specifically improves life or how exactly indigenous cultures are threatened would make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps to effectively communicate your arguments.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, acknowledging the positive and negative impacts of globalization, which brings balance to your discussion.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a good command of English, with appropriate vocabulary choices and generally accurate grammar.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchange
  • Economic growth
  • Technological advancements
  • Cultural homogenisation
  • Economic disparity
  • Multinational corporations
  • Local businesses
  • Climate change
  • Collaboration
  • Mutual understanding
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