IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

New parents should attend parenting classes to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extend do you agree or disagree with the given statement?

#parents #classes #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Owing to the cut-throat competition, many
parents
Use synonyms
 do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to engage with their
children
Use synonyms
. It is argued that new
parents
Use synonyms
 are supposed to learn things from parenting
classes
Use synonyms
 to bringing up well-developed
children
Use synonyms
. I agree with the given statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it brings about personal
development
Use synonyms
 and social ethics.
However
Linking Words
,
time
Use synonyms
 and
money
Use synonyms
 wasting cannot be neglected. There are two major benefits of parenting
classes
Use synonyms
, namely giving instructions for personal
development
Use synonyms
 and social morals.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by attending these
classes
Use synonyms
, newer
parents
Use synonyms
 can garner a colossal amount of advice about personal
development
Use synonyms
 from professionals.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent study which was held by the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
 of
health
Capitalize word
Health
show examples
 in Sri Lanka
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 showed that 86% of new
parents
Use synonyms
 have a positive view of those
classes
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, social morals are taught by trained professionals. If
parents
Use synonyms
 garner
this
Linking Words
 advice it will directly influence their offspring as well.
This
Linking Words
 can
be directed
Wrong verb form
direct
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to refrain from social crimes.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 parenting
classes
Use synonyms
 give many merits for society at launch.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks, namely
time
Use synonyms
 and
money
Use synonyms
 wasting.
Parents
Use synonyms
 who are in a hectic lifestyle cannot waste their
time
Use synonyms
 by attending
such
Linking Words
 kinds of
classes
Use synonyms
. Because they are supposed to do many work as they are newcomers to parenting.
As well as
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 cannot
wasted
Add a missing verb
be wasted
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 their low level of economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is a well-known published article in Sri Lanka
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 says that approximately 87% of new
parents
Use synonyms
 are suffering from economic issues.
Hence
Linking Words
, attending parenting
classes
Use synonyms
 usher
time
Use synonyms
 and
money
Use synonyms
 waste. In conclusion, there is a common belief that if new
parents
Use synonyms
 participate in parenting
classes
Use synonyms
 it will bring about a better future for
children
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 personal
development
Use synonyms
 and moral values, it can be agreed to the given statement. In spite of having the advantages of attending those
classes
Use synonyms
,
time
Use synonyms
 and
money
Use synonyms
 wasting cannot be ignored. It is recommended that the government should conduct public awareness programs for newer
parents
Use synonyms
 to protect their newborn babies.
Submitted by nadee.document on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: